


Definitely not gay

by Moppipoika



Category: Tokio Hotel
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Not Related, Alternate Universe - Teenagers, Denial, Denial of Feelings, Humor, M/M, On Hiatus, Romance, Twincest - Not Related, WIP
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2018-03-15
Packaged: 2018-11-02 20:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 25,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10952229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moppipoika/pseuds/Moppipoika
Summary: Right before the most important exam of the year, Tom wakes up in the middle of the night to some kid baking brownies.





	1. Could you please let me sleep?

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this for a while now, and I finally feel like I can post this and I'm so excited!! I have this whole thing planned out and it'll be about 20 chapters long, but I can't promise any specific updating pace cause I don't know how quickly I can write the chapters. Anyway, this is the first one, hope you enjoy!
> 
> Thanks for my awesome friend cxoixen for helping me out and beta reading this! You're the best <3

It was too fucking late for anyone to even be up anymore, and still Tom could hear someone rattling in the kitchen. With an annoyed sigh he checked the time from his phone.

2:30am.

So, it was 2:30 in the middle of the night, and someone had decided it was a good time to wake him up, right before the most important exam of his life. He laid on his bed for a good while, listening to the noises coming from the kitchen, waiting for them to stop so he could go back to sleep.

But apparently it wasn’t going to happen any time soon, so with another annoyed sigh Tom got up and put on his shirt before entering the common areas of the dormitory.

He had now been living there for a little over a year now, so this wasn’t the first time someone was being noisy in the middle of the night. Normally Tom didn’t care since he almost never went to bed before 4am himself, but now he had an exam in the morning which he actually wanted to pass. He had to pass it. Otherwise Mrs. Williams would make him attend all her courses again, ‘cause Tom had failed most of them. Tom also had a feeling she would soon lose her mind because of him. So Tom was definitely not going to fail the damn exam.

Amongst some loud clattering, Tom could hear crooning from the kitchen. He stopped by the kitchen door, staring at the source of the noises in disbelief; a tall, black haired boy who Tom had never seen before, was baking something with an almost empty wine bottle sitting on the kitchen counter.

Two-fucking-thirty in the morning, and this guy was keeping Tom up because he was a little hungry. Or got the munchies. There was no way Tom was going to allow it.

“Do you know how late it is?” Tom walked closer, not even trying to hide the anger in his voice. He wanted this guy to know exactly how pissed he was.

The raven haired teen turned to Tom, raising a brow at him. “Actually, I do,” he smiled and brought a glass of wine to his lips. “Do you?”

“Damn right I do! I also know I have a fucking important exam in the morning,” Tom growled, trying to keep his voice down since he didn’t want to wake anyone else up. He wasn’t going to be the asshole who wakes the whole floor only ‘cause he’s awake himself.

“And you’re telling me this, because?” The boy turned his back to Tom, returning to his baking.

“Because you fucking woke me up!” It was seriously hard to keep quiet and not just lash out at the guy. “If you hadn’t noticed yet, you’re living in a dorm with other people, who’d like to, you know, sleep at night. And I don’t know about you, but at least everyone else here has to wake up for school in the morning, so I’d really appreciate it if you’d just stop doing whatever it is you’re doing, and let me sleep, okay?”

The teen stayed quiet for a while, slowly sipping his wine before he crouched to put something in the oven. Afterwards he turned back to Tom with a tired smile on his lips. “I’m Bill,” the guy simply introduced himself. “And you’re not being very nice.”

Tom blinked dumbly. What? He wasn’t being very nice? He wasn’t the one keeping Bill up, was he? No, Tom was an extremely nice guy, but even he had his limits.

“And you know,” Bill continued before Tom even had the time to think of something to say. “I had a long, long day of moving. I deserve my wine for surviving the whole day with my _mother_.”

“ _What_ are you talking about?” Tom asked, starting to get desperate. He kinda wanted to hit the guy in the face, kinda wanted to sit down and hear more.

The guy certainly looked interesting; long, raven black hair with white highlights, and black eye makeup which had gotten a bit smudged. He was wearing black jeans with lots and lots of zippers on the legs, and a oversized Green Day t-shirt. He looked nothing like the people Tom usually hanged out with, but he definitely looked intriguing.

“Oh, you didn’t know I was moving in?” Bill asked and raised his eyebrows in surprise. “The other guy, uh, Michael I think, moved out with his girlfriend so I got his room,” he flashed a wide smile before drinking again. “You should be welcoming me to the neighbourhood instead of telling me to shut up and go to sleep.”

Tom couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. He couldn’t tell if this guy was drunk, or if this just was the way he was. Either way, he was still annoying as hell, and Tom really wanted to go back to sleep.

“I’m not feeling very welcoming right now”, Tom snapped. Oh, how he wanted to grab a chair and hit this guy in the face with it, maybe then he could get his much needed beauty sleep. “So, this is the last time I’ll ask you this nicely: could you just, please, stop baking and let me sleep? Cause I really fucking need it, and if I’m gonna fail my exam and I have to redo all the courses, I’m gonna hold you responsible for everything.”

“Redo all courses? Why would you have to do that?” Bill furrowed in confusion, emptying his glass and then filling it up again.

“Well, I’ve failed almost every one of them, so if I don’t pass this, Mrs. Williams is gonna-”

“Let me get this straight,” Bill interrupted him, holding his other hand up to shut Tom up. “You are mad at me, cause I’m keeping you up. And you are gonna blame me, if you don’t pass the stupid exam. And you’re gonna blame me if you have to redo all the stupid courses you didn’t pass, because you probably didn’t care enough to study at all, until this point.”

Bill gave Tom a questioning look, and when Tom slowly nodded to agree, Bill continued; “Please tell me, cause I really don’t understand, how is it _my_ fault that you failed almost everything? Is it really my fault you fucked up your studies?”

Tom’s mind went blank. He had definitely not expected that, and now he had no idea what to say, or if there even was something he could say. Now that Bill had said it out loud, it kinda made sense. It was his own fault he had decided to focus on drinking and partying rather than studying. He had thought he could handle it, a little drinking every now and then wouldn’t harm his studies, he could manage.

Apparently, he couldn’t. Of course, his drinking “every now and then” was more like every weekend, and when he drank, he drank lots. It was never about grabbing a few beers with friends to get his mind off of school, it was rather competing on who could drink the most shots, or who could chug down their beer the fastest.

However, even if none of it was Bill’s fault, Tom still had a reason to be mad at him. It was still half past two, and people were supposed to be sleeping. Bill could go back to his baking in the morning when nobody cared if he was being noisy or not.

“Want a piece?” Bill suddenly asked, offering Tom a plate with a piece of something that looked like shit. “Trust me, it’s good.”

“I don’t want anything but you away from the kitchen, so I can go back to sleep,” Tom said, feeling extremely annoyed, eyeing the thing on the plate. Maybe it was mud cake? Tom loved mud cake more than he loved his family, so a part of him kinda hoped it wasn’t mud cake, cause he really didn’t want to take anything from Bill and mud cake would’ve been impossible to say no to.

“Taste it, and I’ll go to my room,” Bill smirked, bringing the plate closer to Tom’s face.

Then the smell hit Tom. The wonderful, rich, chocolatey smell forced Tom to inhale so deep he felt a little dizzy. It smelled so good Tom wanted to grab the piece of whatever it was, and rub it all over his body. He wanted to make a soap out of it, no, he wanted a cologne that smelled like it. Tom’s stomach was suddenly growling and he felt more hungry than ever. He desperately wanted to taste the thing Bill had made, but he also wanted to stay mad at the guy.

“Oh come on,” Bill groaned. “It’s a piece of brownie, just fucking taste it, okay?”

Tom eyed the plate for a while longer before taking it with a deep sigh. He didn’t even like brownies, but if this was gonna make Bill let him sleep, he would do it.

“Could you give me a spoon?” Tom asked and inhaled the sweet scent a little more. He couldn’t help wondering why something so bad like brownies smelled so heavenly good.

“Oh, you eat it with your hands,” Bill smiled and took a piece for himself too. “It’s a part of the experience to get your hands dirty,” he grinned before he took a bite of his piece, making a face full of pure pleasure.

Tom wrinkled his nose. He couldn’t believe it was as good as Bill claimed it to be, but he was gonna give it a go anyway. Just to make Bill leave him be.

With trembling hands Tom took a bite of his piece, and he regretted it right away. It was so sweet, soft, and so full of chocolate Tom was sure it was what heaven would taste like. Mud cake wasn’t even nearly this good.

“Well?” Bill soon asked, tilting his head a bit.

Tom swallowed slowly, debating with himself over whether he should tell the truth or not. It was literally better than anything Tom had ever tasted, and he was sure it could make him feel better than any drug in the world. Then again, he had been angry at Bill, and he still wanted to be ‘cause he had not forgotten how the guy was probably gonna be the reason he would fail his exam in the morning.

“It’s okay,” he finally gave an answer with a not so convincing voice.

Bill gave him a smile he couldn’t quite read. “I’ll let you sleep now”, he said as he picked up his wine bottle from the counter. “I’ll see you around, Tom.”

Tom watched Bill leave the kitchen, feeling a bit odd when he was finally alone. It was so quiet it made him a bit uncomfortable, and in the scary silence Tom finished his brownie before returning to his room. He still had a couple of hours to sleep.


	2. It's not funny!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heyy look at me, already posting the second chapter! I would've posted this two days ago, but I needed to wait for my beta to read it through.
> 
> But here it is, so enjoy!

When Tom finally woke up to unheavenly loud beeping, it took him about two seconds to realize he was _really_ fucking late. He threw on his clothes from the day before, grabbed his backpack and ran out the door. He couldn’t remember when was the last time he had actually ran to school, or if this was the first time ever. The second option was probably the right one.

It was both a curse and a blessing to live next to the school building. Right now it felt like the best thing that had ever happened in his life. He ran through the hallway that connected the school building and the building he lived in, dodging other students the best he could. The last thing he needed was to bump into someone, cause that could mean falling or even having to talk to someone, and he really didn’t have the time.

“Hi Tom,” a guy with blond hair smiled as Tom ran past him, but Tom didn’t have time to even look at who he was. “I’ll call you!” The guy yelled after him and Tom gave him a quick look over his shoulder before he turned left at the next corner. He could find out who the guy was after he was done with the exam, when he actually had time to think about something else than moving his legs forward.

As he ran towards the staircase he looked up at one of the clocks hanging from the school’s ceiling. Two minutes. He had two minutes to get to the fourth floor and find the classroom number 417. He had only been to the fourth floor once, by accident, right after he had started his studies there. Mrs. Williams’ classes were normally held somewhere around the second floor, and Tom was pretty sure she knew he had no idea where the room 417 was and that’s why she decided to have the exam there, to make sure he wouldn’t arrive on time.

Tom’s legs felt like noodles, and he was pretty sure he would soon die from not getting enough oxygen because of how out of breath he was when he arrived to the third floor. He wasn’t sure if he could make it to the exam in time, and he was kind of ready to give up. It would’ve been easier to just give up. Then all the courses he would have to redo creeped to his mind, making him realize it would definitely not be easier to give up; giving up would be the end of him and his dreams of becoming a game programmer.

Even though Tom felt like throwing up, he used the remaining of his strength to force his legs to keep running. There were so many stairs, and the elevator was too slow to even be considered as an option. Why were there so many stairs? Why would anyone ever think it was a good idea to make angry, tired students walk so much? If Tom was to ever design a new school, he wouldn’t put a single stair in it.

He had never felt as exhausted as he did when he arrived to the fourth floor and started to look for the right classroom. He would’ve definitely missed it if Mrs. Williams hadn’t come out of the room just before he was gonna head the other way.

“Wait!” Tom shrieked in horror when he realized Mrs. Williams was going to close the classroom door. Somehow his legs ran a little faster as he tried to reach the doorway in time. “I’m here! I’m not late!”

Mrs. Williams raised her brows at him. “Well, technically, you’re about thirty seconds late,” she told him dryly after checking her wristwatch. “But since it’s practically the first time you’re even this close to not being late, I’m gonna let you in and try to pass this thing.”

If Tom hadn’t been so worn out because of the running, he would’ve come up with a witty comeback, but his brain wasn’t working properly and he needed to get his thoughts straight before taking the exam. So instead he simply walked past her and sat down on a seat Mrs. WIlliams had already assigned to him.

“You have two hours to take this test, and you’re not allowed to leave even a second earlier than the said two hours,” Mrs. Williams told Tom and some other guy sitting a few seats away from him. “You’d normally only have an hour, but since you’re kind of lost cases, I decided to give you some extra time to think about the questions. So, maybe, you’ll both actually pass this one because of this.”

Tom wanted to scream. He had to sit two hours straight, taking a test, at eight in the morning? Really? With a deep sigh he buried his face in his hands, trying to prepare himself for the next few hours.

And it was worse than Tom could’ve ever imagined. His mind was blank, and all he could think about was the heavenly good brownie he had tasted last night, and the stupid guy who had baked them. The guy who had robbed Tom his beauty sleep, and who was now the reason Tom remembered nothing from the things he had studied.

After two hours of wanting to run away, and praying for every possible god to kill him right there, Tom finally walked out of the classroom. He felt emotionally drenched and was more than ready to get back to his room and go to sleep. He deserved it. Well, actually he didn’t, considering how bad the exam had went, but he was simply gonna ignore that. He needed sleep. And judging by the sounds his stomach made, he also needed some food.

“Tom!” a familiar voice called him, and he turned around to find the source of the voice. He sighed heavily as he saw his brown haired friend, Georg, run towards him. “Where have you been? I’ve called you like five times.”

Tom furrowed and fished his phone from his enormously large pocket, and there was indeed five missed calls and 23 unread messages.

“I was having a _two hour_ exam,” he mumbled as he put his phone away. Every time he thought about it, it felt even more awful. Who the fuck actually made their students sit two fucking hours for an exam? Even though Tom had never cared about math, the subject Mrs. Williams taught, he had always kinda liked Mrs. Williams herself. But this changed everything.

“Oh god!” Georg breathed as he raised his hands on his chest and imitated having a heart attack. “How are you even alive?” he soon asked with a wide grin. They had only known each other for a little over a year now, but Georg had learned that if Tom hated something about school, it was taking tests.

“Not sure if I am,” Tom laughed as they began to walk towards the stairs to get to the first floor, where the school’s cafeteria was located. “I mean, _jesus_ , doing math for two hours straight,” he muttered with shivers running down his spine. “I would’ve rather died.”

“Math?!” Georg gasped, once again raising his hands on his chest, this time looking like he might actually have a stroke. “ _How_ are you still alive?!”

As they walked, Tom told his friend everything about the damn exam and how miserably he had failed at it. Georg nothing but laughed at him, joking about how Tom should probably reconsider his dream job, or at least come up with a plan b.

Tom hated to admit it, but Georg was probably right. His studies weren’t really going anywhere since he was failing almost everything, and getting the worst possible grades from everything he didn’t fail. It probably would’ve been easier to just give up his dream of becoming a game programmer and pick up another job to go after; something a little easier, something that didn’t require studies in subjects he didn’t understand jack shit about.

Tom bought himself a slice of pizza and a can of coke from the cafeteria, Georg doing the same after him. They looked around for a while, searching for a free table, which seemed to be impossible to find. Even though the room was full of tables of different sizes, and the room itself was huge, it was technically a miracle to find a free table or even a free seat.

“Oh, hey, Gustav’s waving at us,” Tom spoke after a long moment of looking around, when he spotted his blond friend from the other side of the room. “Looks like he’s alone.”

“Oh _thank god_ ,” Georg sighed in relief. “I was ready to stand here for the rest of my life to get a seat, cause I don’t eat standing up. That’s stupid and uncomfortable. I mean, why can’t they make the cafeteria a little bigger and get some more tables. Can’t they see we’re _suffering_?” he complained as they walked towards their friend, who was still waving at them like he was scared they’d get lost.

The moment Tom sat down with his friends and Gustav started complaining about his shitty biology teacher, everything felt a little better. And as Tom sank his teeth into the oily, cheesy surface of his pizza, life felt even better. God it tasted good. The coke was okay since it wasn’t properly cold, but the pizza was better than good. It was a pity it was so expensive, two and a half euros for a slice, because sometimes Tom could’ve just eat twenty slices more. Of course the price included some fruits and a salad, but who would want to ruin a perfect pizza with some salad? He didn’t eat in the cafeteria that often because of the prices, but sometimes it was a good change to his normal diet which included pretty much the cheapest beer he could find and ramen noodles.

“Tom?” Gustav snapped his fingers in front of Tom’s face to wake him up from his thoughts. “Where were you going in the morning? I mean I said hi, and you just ran away like something was after you.”

“It was you?” Tom asked with raised brows, and then threw an apologetic look to his friend. “Sorry, I had my math exam with Mrs. Williams and I was kinda in a hurry,” he explained and took a sip from his drink.

“I’ve told you to wake up earlier,” Georg commented. “ _And_ , I’ve told you to go sleep earlier. I swear, you _never_ wake up to your alarms.”

“But you didn’t even wave!” Gustav complained, pouting like a little boy, and Tom didn’t even bother stopping himself from rolling his eyes. “I mean, you could’ve waved.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’ll give you a wave next time,” Tom sighed and took another sip from his drink. “Besides, it’s not my fault I was in a hurry. This new guy named Bill kept me up all night,” he said, getting annoyed just thinking about the kid.

He took a deep breath, blew it slowly out of his nose and sighed heavily, his friends staring at him impatiently. He took his time shaking away the annoyance, before he spoke again: “This new guy, Bill, woke me up in the middle of the night because he was _baking_. He was drunk and annoying as hell, and refused to let me sleep and he even got mad at me when I told him to shut up and let me sleep.”

“He was _baking_?” Georg repeated with his brows raised.

“I know! Unbelievable!” Tom crossed his arms on his chest and shook his head. “I can’t believe I failed the stupid test because of some new guy wanting a midnight snack.”

He raised his eyes to Gustav, who had raised his hand on his mouth to keep himself from laughing. “What?” Tom snapped, squinting his eyes at the blond guy.

“Well,” Gustav started and cleared his throat to keep his voice straight. “You could’ve just gone back to sleep, you know?”

“But the guy was making so much noise!” Tom cried. He couldn’t believe Gustav wasn’t taking this seriously.

“Yeah, Gus, the guy was _drunk baking_ for heaven’s sake!” Georg laughed with a wide smirk. “You can’t just put on some earplugs or something, you have to get up and go tell him to shut up.”

“Guys, I’m serious!” Tom started to feel desperate, he didn’t understand why his friends thought this was so funny; he had failed an exam because of Bill. “I failed because Bill wanted me to fucking taste his brownies and wouldn’t let me go back to sleep!”

Both Gustav ja Georg were now laughing so loudly that people on the tables next to theirs had turned to look at them. “C’mon guys! It’s not funny,” Tom whined and felt how his cheeks started to burn from embarrassment.

“Yeah, Gus,” Georg laughed, wiping tears from his eyes. “It’s not funny.”

“No, this is serious,”, Gustav nodded. “I mean, some guy just offered Tom some brownies! How _dare_ he?” The blond laughed, and he had to bury his face on his hands so he could stop.

“What’s so funny about this, seriously?” Tom asked after a little while, when his friends finally started to calm down.

“Okay, in all seriousness,” Gustav said quietly, clearly still holding down a laugh. “Yeah, the guy woke you up, but you could’ve just put on some earplugs or headphones to shut the voices.”

“And it’s okay that you went to tell the guy to keep quiet, I guess I would’ve gone too, but you can’t blame him for staying up,” Georg smiled and took a bite of his now cold pizza. “You could’ve just literally gone to say shut up, and then go to bed. But for some reason, you decided to stay up and talk to the guy, and you decided to eat the brownie. You can’t blame him for that,” he then explained. “I mean, unless he had a gun on you, it was all about you deciding whether you stay up with the guy or go back to sleep.”

Tom stared at his friends in disbelief. He couldn’t believe his ears. They didn’t understand _at all_. He had _not_ wanted to stay up with Bill, and he had _not_ wanted to eat the brownie. He had simply wanted Bill gone from the kitchen, so he could sleep. But the more he thought about it, the more he felt like his friends were right, and he hated it. He absolutely hated when he was wrong, and the G’s were right.

“I hate you guys,” Tom finally mumbled as he sank down on his chair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you liked it and thanks for reading!


	3. I bet you're a Hufflepuff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SORRY it took this long to update!
> 
> I've been having a hard time just opening up my computer because of all the shit happening in my life lately, but it's all calming down now so I'll be updating more now!

The next few days were kind of weird. Tom didn’t see Bill or hear from Bill, it was like the damn guy never even existed. The longer Tom went without seeing the guy, the more he started to actually look for the guy. He even sat in the kitchen until morning hours so he could see Bill, but no, nobody ever left the guy’s room and nobody entered it. When for the third time Tom went to bed at five, he decided to drop it. The guy clearly didn’t want to meet him again, so why would he bother? In fact, he didn’t really understand why he had started to look for him in the first place. Bill had been annoying and arrogant when they met, and Tom had immediately hated the guy, so why would he even want to meet him again?

After his first proper sleep in a few days, Tom headed to history class feeling like he was ready to run the marathon. He was the first to arrive to the classroom, which felt more than weird since he was practically always late and the last one to arrive, so now he didn’t even question the surprised look on the teacher’s face when he sat down in his usual seat. It was more than odd to just sit in the classroom and just go through his facebook, and the feeling like his teacher was staring at him didn’t help it. Tom raised his eyes to check if the teacher, whose name he still couldn’t remember, was actually looking at him and he wasn’t surprised to see her eyes glued to him.

“What?” He asked with raised brows, lowering his phone so he could return the stare. The teacher furrowed in confusion which made Tom let out a deep sigh: “You’re staring.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she apologised and turned her gaze to her laptop’s screen. For a while she stared at it, until she turned back to Tom with a warm smile: “Are you okay?” Her eyes bore a hole in Tom, and he had to use all his willpower to not look away.

“Am I.. okay?” Tom repeated and received a short nod. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He didn’t understand, and he was pretty sure he was supposed to be the one to ask his teacher if she was okay; no teacher ever asked their students if they were okay, until they were crying or had like bruises on their face or something.

“It’s just, I mean, you’re never this early,” she explained with a smile, and it took everything Tom had in him to not roll his eyes at her. “If there’s anything that’s bothering you, anything you need to talk about, I’m here.”

In that moment Tom promised himself he would never arrive early to class again. It was weird and awkward having a teacher ask you if you were fine, and experiencing it once was more than enough. “Yeah, whatever,” he soon mumbled and returned to his phone so he could spend the couple of minutes that were left alone and without talking to his teacher.

Hearing the bell ring had never felt as relieving as it did now, and Tom found himself quite happy to finally put his phone away as the first period started. Pretty soon Tom learned that his teacher’s name was Mrs. Jensen, and her husband Mr. Jensen was the coach of the school’s football team. Tom had no idea how he could forget Mrs. Jensen’s name since it was everywhere in the posters around school ‘cause she coached the cheerleaders, and there appeared to be a name tag on her table. Tom knew he wasn’t really the sharpest pencil in the drawer, but he had no idea he was _this_ stupid.

“So, to be able to talk about all of these subjects, you're going to have to work in pairs,” a loud chorus of sighs followed Mrs. Jensen’s words, and she gave the class a smile which told them it didn’t stop there: “And I’m going to assign you your pairs _and_ your subjects.” Another loud chorus of sighs.

Tom didn’t really care. He rarely did any work in group projects, so it didn’t matter who he was paired up with. He knew almost everyone in the school, even if it was just by name or remembering their face from a party. He was also good with people, and he had never met anyone he didn’t get along with, except Bill. Bill had been the first person he had practically hated before even meeting him, and although he had managed to be quite nice to the guy, he didn’t feel like they’d get along very well in the long run.

“So,” a book thumping loudly against Tom’s desk made him jump a little and wake up from his thoughts. “You’re my pair.”

Tom raised his gaze from the book on his desk, and couldn’t believe his eyes. Was he dreaming? Was it some kind of a joke? There was no way it could be real, no way it was happening. When the guy in front of him rolled his eyes and let out a bored sigh, Tom was sure. It was Bill. Bill with his long raven hair and brown eyes. How Tom had never seen the guy before in history class? He had no idea. How was it possible Tom hadn’t seen the guy even once in the last few day? He had absolutely no idea. But there he was, alive and breathing, standing 10 centimeters from Tom and looking like he could use a nap.

“You,” was all Tom managed to get out of himself.

“Yeah, me,” Bill sneered. “C’mon, let’s go, we have work to do.”

Tom followed Bill into the library like the good boy he was, sat down next to a window and dug out his phone while Bill collected a pile of books for them. He had no intentions of reading or even touching a book, so he decided to let Bill do all the work.

“Why are we in the library?” Tom asked when Bill finally sat down. “The school has computers, you know? I even have a laptop with me right now, so why are we reading?”

Bill looked at him like it should’ve been obvious, but when the guy realized it wasn’t, he smiled shortly. “I don’t do computers,” he simply explained.

“And why’s that?”

“They make people stupid, like you,” Bill gave Tom another short smile. “Books smell good, and it makes people actually work to get the information they need. On internet you just type in your problem and the answer is behind the first link. With books, you’ll have to actually read something.”

“That’s why it sucks,” Tom mumbled, his eyes glued to his phone. “I don’t have time to read ten different books for one assignment. I can google it and get it done in half an hour, so why would I spend a whole day reading some books? That’s just stupid.” He raised his eyes from the screen to see Bill squint his eyes at him. “What?”

“You’re probably the laziest person I’ve ever met.”

“Probably, yeah.”

“Well, if you think you’re going to get away with it, and I’ll do all the work by myself, then keep dreaming!” Bill’s voice was slowly getting louder, and Tom felt trapped; it was like all those times when his mom had found out he had done something stupid and decided to yell at him for half an hour. “‘Cause I’m _not_ going to do your half of this, and I’m not going to let you half ass your way out of this! I don’t care if you read or google the shit you need, but you’re not gonna ruin this assignment, and I’m not gonna get a shitty grade from this because of you!” Bill was now actually screaming, his face red and eyes burning with anger.

Tom had no idea what he had done to set the guy off, apart from saying he didn’t understand reading and preferred a computer when studying. He was pretty sure it wasn’t all he had done, but he had no time to ask about it when the more than angry librarian came to tell them they needed to leave before she would call the campus police to take care of them. Without a word the two boys quietly made their way out of the library, and all the way to the school’s garden before they dared to even breathe properly.

“I’m sorry I got us thrown out,” Bill muttered as they slowly walked through the huge, well taken care of garden filled with roses and.. other flowers Tom didn’t know the names of.

Tom thought about it for a moment. Bill was irritating, for sure, and the scene he had caused in the library had been uncalled-for, but at least he apologized for it. Maybe he should give him a chance? He did have to work with him for the project anyway, and it would be a lot easier if they’d even try to get along.

“It’s okay since I didn’t even want to be there in the first place,” he finally gave Bill a smirk and gently nudged his side.

“But seriously, you should try reading,” the raven haired boy laughed, earning another smirk from Tom.

“I do read,” Tom smiled. “But not for school.”

“What do you read then?”

“I started rereading the Harry Potters a while ago,” Tom answered, and Bill seemed to be much more interested in him right away. “I also loved, well I didn’t love, but I liked the Fifty shades.”

“Ew. You do realize they’re shit, right? Aren’t they also like a.. _Twilight_ _fanfic_?,” Tom only laughed and kept smirking at Bill’s disgusted face.

“Twilight’s not that bad,” he pointed out soon, receiving a dramatic eye roll from Bill.

“Let’s just go back to talking about Harry Potter.”

**

A few hours later, the boys had decided to skip the rest of their classes to sit at a cafe about a mile away from school so they could talk about Harry Potter. It was actually more like Bill talking and Tom listening and nodding with an understanding smile. In reality, Tom didn’t understand much since he had only read the first three books, and he was too poor to buy the movies and too lazy to download them. He was also an awful slow reader since he always got distracted by his phone, and he rarely remembered anything from the book he read. He hadn’t thought Bill would actually get this excited about the topic, but he didn’t mind, he liked this happy and enthusiastic Bill.

“And when she killed Sirius, oh my god I cried for like the whole night after reading it,” Bill looked like he could burst in tears right there just by thinking about it. “I mean, how could she do that to Harry?!”

Tom kept nodding and sipping from his coffee so he wouldn’t have to talk. It seemed like Bill was running out of things to say and he expected Tom to say something or talk about his own opinions, but since he didn’t have any opinions it was better to stay quiet.

“Have you joined Pottermore already?” Bill suddenly asked and Tom almost choked on his coffee.

“Have I joined _what_?” He managed to ask with a weak voice between his coughs.

“Pottermore, you idiot,” Bill laughed. “I’m shocked you haven’t even heard about it! It’s this _huge_ website that Rowling created based on Harry Potter, and you can do all kinds of tests to see which house you belong to or what’s your wand made of, and there’s _so much_ information about all the characters!”

“Great! Sounds great!” It really did. Tom wouldn’t have to read the books at all, and he could still learn all the details about everything.

“We have to figure out what house you belong in,” Bill smiled and stuffed his mouth with what was left of his donut. “I bet you’re a Hufflepuff.”

Tom didn’t have time to say anything when Bill already informed that he had to leave for work. They quickly agreed to meet the next day after Bill’s morning shift so they could actually work on their history project. After that they both left the cafe.

While walking back to school, hands in his pockets and kicking small rocks on the road, Tom wondered why hadn’t he ever considered getting a job. It didn’t take him much time to remember why: he was a lazy shit who thought he didn’t need any extra money as long as he could afford his beer and noodles. His parents gave him as much money as he needed, but he didn’t like asking for it, so he simply made himself survive with the little money he got as a student allowance. Sometimes his mom would give him a twenty or something at the end of the month without asking, and Tom was always happy to receive it, but it still made him a bit uncomfortable to use his parents’ money.

**

The next morning was more than weird. Tom didn’t have a killer hangover even though it was Saturday, he woke up before midday and he was actually looking forward to studying with Bill. He took a long shower and ate breakfast for the first time in months. He had time to make coffee and clean his room a little before Bill showed up to his room’s door with a box of cupcakes.

They started their day by making a few notes and going through some websites, but they got bored pretty quickly, so they decided to take a break. And their break lasted for the rest of the day, but Tom still learned so much. He learned he was actually a slytherin, what Bill didn’t want to believe in even after Tom had answered the questions three times.

“You _can’t_ be a slytherin,” he cried with a defeated expression as Tom, once again, got sorted in slytherin.

They downloaded the first Harry Potter movie and stuffed themselves with the cupcakes Bill had brought them while watching, and after that Tom downloaded the next movie while Bill went to make them some noodles. After they had binge watched the first three movies, it was getting late and Bill had to go to sleep ‘cause he had an early shift the next morning, just like he always had in the weekends.

The next couple of days went by like the first. They met right after school or after Bill came from work, picked up cupcakes or pizza, or both, and spent the night in Tom’s room, eating and binge watching movies after “working on their project” for a half an hour or so.

“We really need to get something done with this,” Bill sighed as they once again sat down in front of Tom’s computer to work on the history project. “The deadline’s in five days and we’ve got _nothing_!”

“Hey! We have something,” Tom reminded the raven haired teen and dug out his notes. “I mean, we have like.. uh..”

“We have a _page_ , Tom! We have a page of notes and some stupid stick figures you drew!” Bill took the notebook from his hands and threw it across the room. “We have nothing, Tom, and I wasn’t kidding when I said I won’t take a shitty grade from this.”

“So, what now?” It was a stupid question. Of course Tom knew what now. Now they needed to work their asses off and study like there was no tomorrow, so Bill could get his A.

“Now we’ll work on this on our own,” Bill told him coldly. “And you _will_ do your part in this, or I’ll strangle you with those stupid cornrows of yours.”

After that Bill collected his stuff and left the room, leaving Tom with a hot pizza on his lap, thinking about how he was gonna get killed by the raven haired beauty.

_Boy_. The raven haired boy. Bill was a boy, not a beauty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	4. Just drink your beer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A huuuuge thank you to my beta and best friend cxoixen !! Without you this would've been super dumb and lame ❤️

Once again, the next few days were weird. But instead of not seeing Bill anywhere, Tom saw him everywhere; in the halls, in the cafeteria, it even felt like they had history all the time even though they only had it twice during those days. Every time Tom found Bill in the middle of the crowd in the halls, Bill would just walk away or past him like he hadn’t even seen him.

If Tom had been completely honest, he would’ve said it kinda hurt. But he wasn’t honest, and he kept telling himself he didn’t care and it wasn’t a big deal. In reality, it was a big deal, and he had no idea why. He didn’t know Bill. They had literally hang out for a couple of days, eating and watching movies, he wasn’t supposed to care, so why did he?

**

“Hey mum”, Tom yawned as he answered his phone on the next Friday morning, not feeling happy at all about being woken up half an hour before his alarm.

“Happy birthday baby!” His mom practically screamed on the other end. “Did you get our present already?”

“I literally just woke up,” Tom mumbled as he rolled his eyes at his mom’s excitement. “But yeah, it didn’t come yesterday, so I guess it’ll come today, but not before noon ‘cause it’s Friday. I’ll call you when I get it, okay?”

“Sounds great, baby! I’ll wait for your call, honey,” Tom couldn’t but roll his eyes again for all the pet names. “Have a nice day, honey, and happy birthday, again!”

With another yawn Tom put his phone away. He treasured his mother more than anything, he really did, but did she _really_ have to wake him up like that? _On his birthday._ Now he couldn’t fall back asleep no matter how he tossed and turned in his bed. After a while he decided to drop it: he would have to wake up in like fifteen minutes anyway, so there was no point in going back to sleep anymore.

With the extra fifteen minutes he had the opportunity to take a long, hot shower. Well, it wasn’t exactly what he’d call a long shower, but it was longer than five minutes which was a luxury while living in the dormitory since there wasn’t much time in the mornings and the girls “needed more time than boys”.

“Tom! Birthday Boy!” Georg shouted as Tom stepped out of the bathroom. “It’s gonna be a long day for you!” The brown haired guy had a stupid smirk on his face, telling Tom he should fear for his life.

When Tom had gotten to know Georg, it had been the guy’s birthday, and his friends had made him drink throughout the entire day. Georg had been absolutely shit faced, which had been hilarious, but his friends had still held a huge party where Georg had drank even more. Tom was still kinda surprised Georg had actually survived the amount of alcohol he had greedily gulped down because of his friends' rather enthusiastic encouragement.

The next morning Georg had told him about how they always did that with his friends on their birthdays; the birthday boy had to drink through the entire day no matter what they had to do or where they had to go, and in the evening they would head out to a bar or have a huge party. Tom had managed to get out of it last year by going to his parent’s place for his birthday, but now he had completely forgotten about it and judging by the grin on his friend’s face, he would probably die by alcohol poisoning before midnight.

“Here’s your first drink,” Georg handed a beer to Tom, who hesitantly accepted it.

“I’m gonna die tonight, right?” He asked mostly from himself as he cracked open the can of beer and took a sip from it.

“Oh c’mon, you’re gonna be alright,” Georg sneered.

“Well you didn’t seem _alright_ last time I was celebrating your birthday with you and your friends” Tom mumbled before he took another sip, and received an eye roll from his friend.

“Just drink your beer.”

“Now?”

“Now! You’ll get the next one when I find you again,” Georg grinned stupidly as Tom wrinkled his nose at the beer. He wasn’t a fan of it at all, which felt weird ‘cause it was one of the more expensive ones which he had always thought to taste better. Sadly, it just made him long for the cheap ass beers he normally drank ‘cause he didn’t have enough money to drink anything more expensive. After forcing the drink down his throat, Georg gave him a satisfied smile: “I’ll see you later, birthday boy.”

And oh boy, did Georg keep his promise.

After the first period Tom found himself,chugging down a half a liter beer, surrounded by Georg’s friends who were cheering him. It was awful; it tasted like warm piss, it made him sweat like crazy, and it also made him want to throw up. After he managed to empty the bottle, everyone screamed and clapped and gave him pats on his back like he had done something amazing, and then he was left alone with another “see you later”.

“Later” apparently meant lunch. Because that’s when Tom was happily heading back to his room when somebody suddenly grabbed him from behind and covered his eyes with something he guessed was a black beanie. He tried to fight it for a while, but gave up pretty quickly when he realized he had no chance of winning.

When the thing was finally taken away and Tom was able to see again, it took him a second to realize what was happening; he was in somebody’s room, again surrounded by cheering people, and a small glass table in front of him. His heart was pounding like crazy, and it only sped up as he realized he didn’t recognize one face from the crowd around him.

“You know what time it is!” A familiar voice shouted over the cheering, and seconds later Georg appeared from somewhere with a small tray full of glasses in his hands. “It’s shot time!” Everyone started screaming in excitement, and Tom had to wonder how could they make themselves act like that for no reason. He knew he wouldn’t be able to fake his feelings like that. Maybe it was a football -thing; almost all of Georg’s friends were on the school’s team anyway.

“No!” Tom laughed as Georg put the tray on the table, and he could finally see the glasses were shot glasses with different colored liquids in them. “You’re all crazy, you know that? Like, _actually crazy_!”

“I know,” Georg nodded with a smirk. “And we love it! Drink up!”

Tom took one of the glasses and stared at it for a moment before he closed his eyes and threw it down his throat. It hurt and burned, and he wanted to run away. He never drank anything else than beer, and this reminded him just why. It tasted awful and it hurt to drink. That was enough reasons for him to stay away from hard liquors.

“If I end up throwing up tonight, we’re not gonna be friends anymore,” Tom managed to say after a long moment of making disgusted faces.

“You’ll change your mind when you wake up tomorrow and realize what an _amazing_ night you had with me!”

“If I’ll even remember this night,” Tom rolled his eyes as Georg handed him another drink, and all he could think about was that maybe it would actually be better to not remember the night. Then again, he really liked remembering his nights out; he had seen his friends do some really stupid shit and wake up the next morning with no clue about where they were or what they’ve done, and he did not want to end up like them.

But with the way Georg and his friends made him drink, Tom knew he would probably pass out before midnight and wake up with no memory of the day. He forced the shots down, got his cheers and went back to school with a dizzy head.

The rest of the school day was hard, and by every period it got harder and harder, ‘cause no matter how good he thought his hiding spots were, Georg kept finding him and giving him beers or shots. And when Tom got dismissed from his last class, he had to lean on a wall after every few steps to stop his head from spinning so he wouldn’t throw up. He didn’t know if it was because of how fast they made him drink the drinks, or if it was because he hadn’t eaten anything during the day, but he was really fucking drunk, and he didn’t like it.

“Oh, stop whining for god’s sake,” Georg laughed as they headed towards Tom’s room so he could change his clothes and maybe actually eat something.

“But I’m really gonna throw up if I walk any faster,” Tom kept on whining nevertheless, trying to keep up with his friend’s pace.

“Then throw up!” Georg waved his hand with a wide grin on his lips. “It’s no big deal, I throw up all the time in the middle of drinking. You’ll feel better, _and_ you’ll be able to drink more!”

“Sounds like real fun,” Tom sighed and decided to suck it up; he would not throw up and become like his stupid friend.

**

It was dark, and Tom had to down another beer before they could enter the club they had arrived to. His head was still spinning and walking was pretty damn hard, but it was a little easier than before because he had actually given up and let himself throw up. He had been in the shower, feeling like it would be better to just die than keep drinking, and he had just decided to do it. Nobody would ever know, and he would feel a teeny tiny better.

“We ready to go?” Gustav, who had joined them when leaving for the club, asked as Tom threw the empty beer can to trash.

“Wouldn’t say I’m ready, but I’m not deciding about it anyway,” Tom laughed with a shrug.

The music was so loud it hurt Tom’s ears, and the bass made him feel like his heart could stop. When Georg said something, Tom didn’t even bother to try to hear what he said; he just waved his hand and followed some of their friends to a table. After a while Georg appeared with the rest of the guys, and shortly after them came the bartenders with huge trays full of different drinks. This was the moment Tom realized he should’ve just pretended to pass out before leaving the dorms. Now he had to drink all kinds of awful shots and cocktails which made the club twist and spin around him.

After a few hours the cocktails and shots started to actually taste good, and Gustav had to drag Tom to the dancefloor to keep him from drinking for a while.

The music didn’t seem so loud anymore, and Tom had discovered that if he simply closed his eyes, the room stopped spinning, which made dancing easier. It probably couldn’t even be called dancing, ‘cause it was more of just jumping around with their hands in the air, but since it happened on the dancefloor, it was dancing. The only thing upsetting Tom right now was the fact he couldn’t walk with his eyes closed, and that Gustav kept telling him not to drink so many tequilas.

“Gustav!” Tom practically screamed over the music to get his friend’s attention. “I need to pee really bad!”

Gustav shook his head with an amused smile. “Go pee then!” Tom barely heard the blond’s voice.

“I have a feeling I might fall on my way there, and-” he didn’t get the chance to finish his sentence when Gustav already pushed him away from the dancefloor.

The walk to the toilets went okay, but when Tom had to stand still so he could get over with his business, it got hard. White walls were spinning around him, his legs were jello and his hands felt kinda numb.

“Could you not stare?” Tom soon asked when he realized Gustav was leaning against a wall, watching him try to figure out how to open his jeans. “I mean, I’m not insecure about anything, I just don’t like people staring at me when I pee.”

“I’m just looking after you.”

“Well don’t, ‘cause I’m a big boy who can pee by himself.”

After Gustav left the room, Tom actually managed to get his business done. It felt so _good_ he actually let out a relieved sigh. He closed his jeans, washed his hands and took a good look at himself from the mirror.

First of all, he was sweaty, and it didn’t suit him. He also looked very, _very_ drunk. Which he was. But he hadn’t realized he would actually look like it, too. His eyes were dark and a bit red, and he kinda looked like he was squinting constantly.

Someone exiting one of the stalls behind him startled him so bad he jumped a little, quickly turned around so he could leave, and then fell down because his brain couldn’t keep up with how fast he had turned.

“Tom?”

Tom furrowed and opened his eyes after a moment. “Bill?” He asked confused when he saw a very familiar pair of brown eyes.

“What are you doing here?” Bill offered his hand to help Tom up, and Tom accepted it.

“It’s my birthday!” Tom told him with a wide smile. “Oh! I need to introduce you to the guys! The G’s didn’t believe you were real!”

“What? The who?”

Tom didn’t bother to answer, he was introduce his friends to Bill anyway. He simply took Bill’s hand and dragged him out of the room, and towards the tables where his friends were sitting.

“Tom, I have an early shift tomorrow, I can’t stay,” Bill tried to protest, but Tom didn’t let go of his wrist. For some reason it felt very important that his friends and Bill met each other. “I really don’t know if it’s a good idea.”

“Of course it is!” Tom waved it off with a laugh. “Guys! Especially the G’s!” He shouted so all his friends would hear. “This is _Bill_ ,” he threw a look towards Georg, “and he’s the prettiest guy I’ve ever met!” Tom pulled Bill closer as he said so, and wrapped his other arm around the black haired boy’s shoulders.

Most of the guys just cheered, ‘cause it was how they mostly communicated, but Georg looked like he was gonna choke on his beer.

“Well, this is awkward,” Bill laughed quietly.

Tom shrugged with a hum and retrieved his hand from the boy’s shoulders to accept a drink one of his friends was offering him.

“So, you’re the midnight baker?” Gustav laughed as he walked up to Tom and Bill.

“The what?”

“The midnight baker,” Gustav repeated. “Tom told us you guys met because you were baking in the middle of the night or something.”

“Oh, yeah. I’m the guy,” Bill smiled awkwardly. “Is he always like this?” He soon asked when all the football guys were once again cheering as Tom and some other guy were competing on who drank their drink faster.

“Never,” Gustav shook his head with a sad smile. “But it’s his birthday, and Georg and his friends have this stupid tradition where they practically force the birthday boy drink more liquor than they weight.”

Bill blinked for a moment. “Well that’s reasonable,” he finally snorted.

Suddenly Tom leaned on Bill with all his weight, almost bringing them both down. Gustav almost threw himself behind them to keep them up, and together with Bill they managed to keep Tom on his feet.

“I’m not feeling so well anymore, Gus,” Tom managed to mumble with his eyes half closed.

“I’ll help you back to the dorms,” Gustav smiled softly.

Fifteen minutes later they were on their way back to the dorms. Bill had left with them when they had realized Gustav wouldn’t be able to drag Tom all the way by himself, and with Bill, Tom seemed to get energy from somewhere which helped a lot.

On the way, Tom managed to throw up three times, and fall down even more. It looked painful, but every time he kept saying he was fine, so Bill and Gustav just shrugged it off. As long as Tom didn’t bleed, it was fine. Sure, he would probably feel stiff in the morning, and be covered in bruises, but those wouldn’t kill him.

“No no! I’ll manage!” With an annoyed hand wave Tom tried to get Gustav off of him. “I’m an _adult_.”

“Yeah, but you’re not _adulting_ very well now,” Gustav sighed as he once again pulled Tom up from the floor. “C’mon, we’re nearly there.”

A few more steps, and Gustav was happy to finally let Tom collapse on his bed. “I’ll return to the club now, okay? I have a feeling somebody else’s gonna need me too,” Gustav mumbled to Bill who had just entered the room with a glass of water, and after receiving a short nod, he left.

“You’re gonna have the worst hangover of your life,” Bill laughed quietly as he watched how Tom tried to roll over on the bed.

“I’m probably gonna die,” Tom giggled. He knew he would feel awful in the morning, but right now he didn’t really care;, he was all warm and bubbly inside, and there was nothing that could’ve ruined his mood. Except the fact that he kinda felt like he would soon throw up again, and that he couldn’t keep his eyes open.

“I brought you some water,” Bill smiled and nodded towards the glass he had placed on Tom’s nightstand. “You’re gonna need it.”

“Thanks, Bill,” Tom smiled. His eyelids felt like they were glued together, and he let out an annoyed sigh.

“Just go to sleep, Tom.”

“No, no, no, not until you tell me something,” Tom quickly said, or as quickly as he managed from his slurring, receiving an eye roll. “How do you know my name?”

“What?”

“My name. How? I never said it.”

“Oh, Michael, the guy who used to live in my room, showed me a picture with all his friends and you were there,” Bill told him with a smile. “He told me everybody’s names, and well, let’s just say that you kinda stand out with those _idiotic_ cornrows of yours.”

“Oh,” Tom just kinda frowned. “You don’t like them?”

“I’m not a fan, no.”

“You know what I’m a fan of?”

“What?”

“Your brownies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	5. Hangover, huh?

Tom wanted to die.

He felt awful in every single way you can imagine. His body was aching so bad, he was feeling really fucking sick, and the room was too bright even with his eyes closed. His head was still spinning which made him scared to open his eyes, but he seriously needed to go to the bathroom and it wouldn’t happen with his eyes closed. So, with a defeated sigh, he sat up and opened his eyes, not ready to face the world at all.

The room was spinning wildly around him, making him nauseous. It kinda reminded him of the time when he had been on a fishing trip with his dad, and he had gotten extremely seasick after like the first ten minutes. The rest of the five hour trip he had spent under the deck with his head in a bucket. This was a bit like that, but kinda worse. A lot worse, actually, considering that he was safely sitting on his bed and not on a ship rocking on the waves of the sea.

With trembling legs Tom finally got up from the bed, knowing damn well that if he didn’t get moving he’d probably wet himself or throw up all over his room. Neither one of the options seemed too pleasant, so he simply had to suck it up until he’d manage to drag himself to the bathroom.

And _oh_ , was it a long way through the common areas. It felt like kilometers of walking, and he was pretty sure he’d sweat himself to death. His mouth was so dry he would’ve happily killed someone for a glass of cold water.

As soon as he closed the bathroom door behind him, he collapsed on his knees in front of the toilet seat and threw up so violently it felt like his throat was gonna rip in half. After hardly managing to breathe in between, he threw up again, and after that his puking turned into painful burping and gasping for air. He was so not gonna drink with Georg ever again.

After a long while, that felt like hours but was probably like fifteen minutes tops, Tom decided he was finally done with the unpleasant burps, and he stood up to relieve himself at last. And he was _relieved_. He didn’t remember how much he had drank last night, but judging by the time he had to stand there, he had chugged a lot.

“Hello?” Someone suddenly called through the door, causing Tom something what felt like a small heart attack. “Are you okay in there?”

“I’m fine,” Tom answered with a tired voice while washing his hands, trying to figure out if he still felt like puking or not. “I’ll be out in a second.”

Tom didn’t know what he was expecting, but he sure as hell wasn’t expecting to walk into Bill as soon as he walked out the bathroom. He blinked in confusion, watching how an amused grin grew on the guy’s lips.

“Hangover, huh?”

“Oh, shut up,” Tom huffed as he pushed his way past Bill. The raven haired boy was the last person on earth he wanted to spend time with on his day after.

“I’m having a movie night,” Bill called after him. “You should come if you’re feeling any better later.”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” Tom mumbled, but he was pretty sure Bill couldn’t hear him, which he was kinda thankful of. Even though he felt like he would happily die before spending this particular evening with Bill, he still kinda liked the boy, and he didn’t want to hurt his feelings.

  
Tom let out a relieved sigh when he was able to let himself collapse on his bed. All he needed was a full weekend of sleep. No friends, no bathroom breaks, no dreams. He needed to zone out into simple, quiet darkness.

But no. The second he was starting to drift off, Georg just _had_ to burst into his room; “How’s our birthday boy holding up?” Georg’s voice was so loud Tom was pretty sure he would end up deaf within the next few minutes if his friend was gonna keep talking.

“Shut up!” Tom cried and threw his pillow at the brown haired guy who laughed in return.

“Hangover, huh?” Georg repeated Bill’s earlier words with a huge grin on his face as he dug something out of the bag he had brought with him. “Here, some water,” he threw a bottle on the bed. “Thought you might need some.”

Tom rolled to his side with a miserable squeak so he could open the bottle. And _holy shit_ , water had never tasted so good in his life. It was cold as ice, and it kinda had some kind of a taste, even though it was just regular water. He surreptitiously checked the label and rolled his eyes; it was _expensive_ water. He had never thought it could actually taste different than the cheap labels. It was water for christ’s sake, it wasn’t supposed to taste different.

“Can I have a bite?” Georg suddenly asked.

“A bite? Of what?” Tom furrowed in confusion and drank some more of the heavenly water Georg had gotten him.

“Your brownie,” Georg furrowed too as he nodded towards Tom’s nightstand.

Tom turned to look at what Georg was staring at, and his feeling of confusion only grew. There was, in fact, a large piece of brownie on a small, white plate on his nightstand. He didn’t remember bringing it to his room, not that he actually remembered anything from the night before, but he couldn’t think of why on earth would he have a piece of brownie in his room.

“Who did I come home with?” Tom asked slowly, staring at the brownie like he was scared it would disappear if he looked away.

“Uh, Gustav and the baker guy,” Georg answered after thinking about it for a moment.

“The baker-” Tom cut himself off with a sigh and an eyeroll. “He’s name’s Bill, Georg.”

“Yeah, well, whatever,” Georg waved it off. “I’m not the one thinking he’s the prettiest boy ever, so I don’t really care.”

“He’s _the what_?”

“The prettiest- you don’t remember?” A grin grew on Georg’s face.

Something had happened last night, Tom couldn’t remember what, but he didn’t like the looks if it. He didn’t like it at all.

“What? What is it that I don’t remember?”

“You _really_ don’t remember it?” Georg seemed to enjoy the situation way too much. “What do you remember?”

“I kinda remember the whole school day,” Tom shrugged. He actually had to concentrate to figure out what he remembered of the night before, and the lack of memories made him a bit anxious. “I remember entering the club and that’s kinda it.”

“Oh,” Georg laughed, and Tom didn’t like the way he did it. It meant something had happened, he had done something ridiculously stupid or embarrassing, and everyone knew except he himself.

“Oh?” Tom repeated. “ _Oh_? What do you mean, _oh_?”

“Well, you met Bill last night.” Oh no. “And you introduced him to us.” _Oh no._ “And you kinda called him the prettiest guy you’ve ever met.”

He wanted to die even more desperately than he had earlier. He _needed_ to die. To disappear. He needed god or whatever there was deciding about people’s faiths, to strike him dead right then and there.

“I really did that?” He asked, burying his face in his hands.

“Yeah.”

“God I hate you,” he mumbled, and received a laugh in return.

“No you don’t,” Tom could _hear_ the stupid smirk on Georg’s face. “I’ll leave you to dwell on your remorse about celebrating your birthday with me.”

And dwell on remorse Tom did. He did it good. He buried himself under his blanket and almost cried. He was never gonna drink with Georg again. _Never._ He had _actually_ told his friends that Bill was the prettiest person he’d ever seen, and if Georg remembered it, everybody remembered it. Bill _definitely_ remembered it.

He would have to move away. Drop out of school and move far, far away. What had happened wasn’t something people would forget easily, except for himself apparently, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to live in a place where people thought the prettiest thing he had ever seen was _a guy_. He couldn’t understand why on earth would he say so. He didn’t even like boys, and Bill was definitely not the prettiest person he had ever seen. Far from it.

With a frustrated sigh Tom sat up and gulped down the rest of the water Georg had brought him. He was hungry, and the brownie on his nightstand was haunting his mind. He knew it was made and delivered by Bill, it had to be, and he knew it would taste better than anything ever eaten, but knowing it was Bill’s kinda made him not want to eat it. But it had tasted _so good_ last time, and his stomach was starting to seriously hurt because of his growing hunger.

“Fuck it,” he eventually groaned as he let himself reach for the baked good, annoyed with his lack of self-control. But to his defense, he was hungry and the brownie he now sank his teeth into was the only edible thing in his room right then. He basically had no options.

**

Five hours later Tom woke up to someone knocking on his door. It took him a moment to realize what was happening, and that he was the one who had to open the door to whoever there was waiting on the other side of it.

“Just a second,” he mumbled, not sure if his voice could even be heard on the other side. He didn’t really care, since the person behind the door was probably gonna wait anyway. And if they weren’t, well, it wasn’t his problem.

“No rush,” told a voice from the other side. Tom froze on his place as he recognized who it belonged to; it was Bill’s. “Just wondering if you wanted to watch the movies I asked about earlier?”

“Uh, can I have a moment? I just woke up and my brain’s not working quite yet.”

“Sure. I’ll wait here.”

_Shit._

What was he gonna do?! He felt humiliated now that he knew what he had done last night, and he wasn’t sure he was ready to face Bill so soon. Then again, Bill seemed like he didn’t remember or like he didn’t care. He hadn’t acted any differently in the morning.

But what if Bill wanted to talk about it, and that’s why he had invited Tom over to “ _watch_ _movies_ ”? What if Bill liked boys? What if Bill now thought he liked boy? Because he didn’t, and he hadn’t meant to give the guy any false expectations. What if Bill now wanted something more with him? What would he do if Bill tried to _kiss_ _him?_ _What_ _if_ -

“Tom?” Bill’s concerned voice shook Tom out of his racing thoughts. “Everything okay?”

Was everything okay?

“Yeah.”

“You coming or not? My feet are hurting.”

What was he gonna do? He didn’t want to see Bill. No, he did want to, but he _couldn’t_. How was he supposed to act normal when he knew he had done something so stupid?

“Yeah, I’ll just change my shirt.”

Well, that settled it then. He was going to watch movies with Bill. He had no idea why he was going, or how he was gonna survive it, but for some reason he hadn’t known how to say no to the guy.

He quickly changed his shirt and took some deep breaths before opening the door to the black haired boy who greeted him with a wide smile.

“Feeling any better?”

“Kinda,” Tom shrugged. “Just tired.”

“It’s okay. I didn’t even really expect you to have the energy to come,” Bill smiled warmly, and all the fears of possible horrific situations were washed away. Bill wasn’t gonna say anything. He was gonna keep on like Tom had never said anything, and Tom couldn’t have felt more thankful of it.

The boys made their way to Bill’s room where the guy had already prepared everything: the movie’s menu was on the screen, there were loads of pillows and blankets scattered around the bed and the floor, and there was two bottle of coke and a bucket of popcorn.

“You like chick flicks?” Bill asked as they sat down on the bed and buried themselves under blankets.

“I’d rather die than watch a chick flick.”

“Good, cause we’re watching one.”

Tom let out a short laugh as Bill started the movie. He hated chick flicks, but it didn’t really matter since he had a huge pile of popcorn to eat, a whole bottle of coke to drink, and a warm blanket around him. And he had Bill to keep him company. Bill, who was all smiles and giggles as he watched the stupid movie. Bill, who didn’t talk unless Tom was the first to say something, and let Tom suffer from his hangover in peace.

The movie itself was utterly boring, but Tom didn’t feel the need to complain as long as his coke stayed cold and Bill didn’t bogart the popcorns. The idea of curing his hangover with food and chick flicks had never crossed Tom’s mind, but now he couldn’t come up with anything better than that.

As time passed and the movie changed, Tom’s mood was improving. His head didn’t hurt so much anymore, and he was _very_ comfortable on Bill’s overly soft bed, under the warm duvet he had wrapped around himself. Actually, it was a bit too comfortable. He was getting sleepy again, having troubles to keep his eyes open. With a yawn and a pleased smile on his lips he let himself get buried even deeper under his blanket, as the movie’s sounds slowly faded away.

Suddenly it was dark and Tom was sweating like a pig who knows he’s for dinner. He blinked in confusion as he tried to see into the darkness. Where was he? Had he fallen asleep? Was he alone? He was pretty sure he had been with Bill before falling asleep, so his best guess was that Bill was there with him, probably sleeping too.

“Bill?”

There was no answer, so Tom dug his way out of under the thick duvet and up from the bed. With his awful night vision he made his way to the door, where he knew the light switch was located at. When the lights were turned on and Tom had blinked his blindness away, he was left feeling confused as he realized he was alone in the room.

“Bill?”

Tom stood there for a moment, pondering about what to do. He knew it was childish, but he just had to look under the bed and inside Bill’s closet to make sure the boy wasn’t there.

He had no idea what time it was, so he left the room as quietly as he could, wincing at every possible creak the floors made. As if someone was gonna wake up because of them.

Opening his room’s door gave him all the answers he had needed; on his bed was Bill, buried under Tom’s blanket, quietly snoring. Tom couldn’t stop the small smile creeping on his lips. Bill looked so peaceful and comfortable. Tom didn’t even have a problem to admit that Bill looked extremely beautiful while sleeping, black hair all over the pillow and the boy’s face, lips slightly parted.

“Sweet dreams,” Tom quietly hummed before closing the door as he left to return to Bill’s room, where he dozed off the second he let himself bury his head into the pillow Bill had given him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	6. Oh, Georg

With a groan Tom threw the thick duvet off of him when he decided he had finally had enough of sweating under it. Even though he had stripped himself down to only boxers during the night he was practically swimming in sweat, and the sun shining right through the window and straight towards the bed wasn’t helping at all. Why hadn’t he closed the curtains before going to sleep? He always had to suffer because of how lazy he was.

Without much thought Tom swinged his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up, which made him feel like he would pass out cause his head couldn’t keep up with the quick movements. It took him a few seconds to clear his head, and when his eyes were finally able to see everything crystal clear again and he didn’t feel like passing out anymore, he went on a mission to find his clothes.

It was amazing really, how far from the bed he had been able to throw his clothes while sleeping. His sock were surprisingly right next to the bed, but his jeans on the other hand were found from the other side of the room, under a chair. How had it actually gotten in there, he had no idea of. He was simply happy he even found them from the messy room.

The only thing missing was his shirt. Tom was pretty sure it had just vanished into thin air at this point. He searched the whole room; under every piece of furniture and inside the few closets that were in the room. He even checked the trashcan, but nothing. It was _nowhere_ to be found.

“Could you stop doing this?” Tom mumbled to himself as he once again peeked under the bed just to sigh in defeat when the shirt still wasn’t there. “I have no idea how you do this, but if you keep this up, you’ll have to start walking around half naked, and nobody wants that,” he went on, throwing the pillows and blankets around the room at the same time.

“You know what,” he was getting seriously pissed with himself, “I don’t care, I don't have time for this,” it was a lie and he knew it, but he was tired and hungry and he didn't want to spend the whole day searching for a damn shirt.

With angry and a little rough movements he threw the duvets and pillows back onto the bed, and gave one more peek under the bed. Just to be sure.

Before opening the door he let his eyes scan quickly through the room to make sure he wouldn't’ leave it too messy. With a shrug he decided it was okay; it had been messy in the first place, and if you asked Tom, he had actually maybe even cleaned up a little bit during his search.

When Tom left the room, he immediately regretted it; there common area was full of people, and all eyes were now on him. He was frozen in place. His mind went blank and his legs refused to move, and all of a sudden he became very self-conscious about everything. He could feel how his cheeks started to burn, he was sweating and probably looked like a tomato by now. He stared at the people and they stared right back.

It wasn’t until one of the students whispered something to their friend that Tom could move again. He stared at his feet as he walked; he didn't dare to look up, he wasn’t ready to see all of their faces when they actually started to digest the fact that it had been Tom who came out of Bill’s room. A _shirtless_ Tom.

When Tom finally reached his room and got to close the door behind him, he felt like crying. He was pretty sure his life was officially over now. He let out a tired sigh as he let himself collapse on his bed. He could still smell Bill on his pillow, and he wasn’t sure if it was nice or horrible. It even scared him a bit that he recognized Bill’s scent, but then again, he had spent the night in the guy’s room, rolling in his sheets, so it actually wasn’t that big of a surprise that he remembered what the guy smelled like.

It was just annoying, cause having to constantly breathe in the raven haired boy’s scent forced Tom to think of him, and the more he thought about Bill, the more he thought about the earlier scene in the common areas. He knew people were gonna talk and rumours were gonna spread, if it hadn’t already happened, and Tom wasn't sure he was ready for it. Actually, he was pretty sure he _wasn’t_. He had just freaked out about him calling Bill _the most beautiful thing_ _he had ever seen_ , so having people talk about how he came out of Bill’s room practically half naked was bound to cause him some kind of breakdown or something.

The whole thing seemed even worse the moment Tom realized _Georg_ would hear about it, too. Tom knew Georg would never let it go; he would call him after twenty years just to remind him about the time he walked out of Bill’s room half naked. Georg would probably start calling him with a stupid nickname referring to what had happened, and he would definitely enjoy sharing the story with Tom’s possible future girlfriends.

Tom buried his face in his hands with an annoyed groan. Why was he friends with Georg? Even when the guy was nowhere near he still managed to piss Tom off by being the most annoying person in the world.

A loud growl from his stomach made Tom lower his hands from his face. He was hungry as hell, but there was _no way_ he would leave his room when the common areas in the other side of the door were packed with teens hungry for something to gossip about. No, he knew it was better to starve to death than to go out there in his situation.

Maybe he had some sweets in his room he could eat? Or maybe noodles? Maybe he could find _even one_ package. Full of energy and hope for a better future Tom hopped up from the bed, starting to go through his drawers and bags to find something to eat. Anything would’ve been fine, really.

But just like with the shirt, Tom found nothing. Absolutely nothing, and it made him wanna cry and call his mom because she always knew what to do no matter what the situation was. And Tom was clueless, helpless and all by himself in a big scary college. He was also probably still a little tired from his birthday party since not having noodles made him want to cry like a little baby, which usually wasn’t the way he reacted to being out of food.

With lazy and a little shaky movements Tom grabbed his phone and dialed his mother’s number.

After a couple of beeps his mother’s more than cheerful voice answered him: “Tom! It’s so nice you called, how are you honey?”

“I’m hungry and I wanna come home,” Tom cried out before his mother had even properly finished her sentence. “I’m out of noodles.”

“Oh, honey,” his mother’s voice was dripping with concern, “What if we send you some money? You know, so you could buy _actual food.”_

“No, mum, I don’t need money,” Tom rolled his eyes with a small, amused smile on his lips. “I have money, I just don’t have food and I don’t feel like going to buy any, and I just really wanna come home.”

“But it’s Sunday, sweetie. You can come home the next Friday if you want? Dad could come and pick you up?”

“Thanks, mum,” Tom could’ve sworn he felt how a weight was lifted from his shoulders.

“We’re just happy to see you again, it’s awful when the only time we see you is on holidays and birthdays.”

“That’s like, what? Nine times a year?” Tom laughed, “You really want me to be there more than that? Cause I’m a messy person and I definitely won’t do any chores and I’ll just eat all your food.”

“Well, when you’re away for most of the year, I-”

A knock on the door made Tom interrupt his mother: “Hold on, someone’s knocking.” He got up from the floor with a bad feeling of who was gonna be on the other side.

“Hey, mum, I gotta go,” he sighed as he opened the door, “there’s some stupid guy with pizza at my door.”

“Say hi to Georg from me!”

“Yeah yeah, I will,” he hang up with a dramatic eye roll. “Mum said hi,” he mumbled to his grinning friend as he let him in.

“She’s such a nice woman,” Georg kept grinning as he sat down on Tom’s bed.

Tom grabbed the other box of pizza his friend had brought, and as he sat down on the floor to eat he threw an angry glare at his friend. “Don’t even start.”

“Whatever,” Georg shrugged, the grin never disappearing from his face.

In silence they ate their pizzas, and Tom simply pretended he couldn’t see Georg’s pleased smirk as he stared how Tom stuffed his face like he had never seen food in his life.

Half way through the pepperoni gift from the gods, Tom finally raised his eyes to Georg: “Did you bring something to drink?”

“How stupid do you think I am?” Georg laughed and took out a small bottle of coke from a backpack Tom hadn’t even seen the guy had brought with him. “Of course I brought something,” he threw the bottle to Tom, “I’m not an idiot.”

“That’s just your opinion,” Tom shrugged with a smirk before taking a sip from the cold fizzy drink in his hand. “ _God_ , this is good,” he breathed feeling nothing else than pure pleasure; it was _that_ good. “If I’ve ever told you I hate you, I take it all back. I love you, man.”

“So you _are_ into boys nowadays, huh?”

Georg’s question got Tom out of guard and he managed to spit out a mouthful of coke as he started to laugh and cough at the same time. “What?” He managed to asked between his coughs, earning a laugh from his friend.

“I heard something about you and Bill.”

_“Already?”_

“Already?” Georg repeated with much more serious face now. “You mean, you and Bill actually, like.. you know?”

“No!” Tom gave Georg’s shin a gentle punch. “What did you hear?”

In reality Tom wasn’t sure if he wanted to know. He wanted to be able to live his life in peace, without knowing what kind of rumours were going around about him. No matter how curious he felt, he knew ignorance was a bliss.

It was a bliss Georg decided to take from him, mostly because he had told him to do so: “Alexander texted me,” the guy told as he dug out his phone, “you wanna read for yourself or you want me to read them to you?”

“I’ll read,” Tom muttered. He knew he wasn’t ready to read it, but it would’ve certainly been worse if Georg had read them out loud to him.

“It’s just a few texts,” Georg smiled as he handed his phone to Tom, who took with a shaky hand.

For a moment Tom stared at nothing, reminding himself how to breathe properly and that there was nothing to fear. It was just rumours, it was what people thought had happened, not the truth. It was rumours not even everybody would hear. Okay, he knew _that_ was a lie; in their school everyone knew everything about everybody’s lives.

With one last deep breath Tom lowered his eyes to Georg’s phone’s screen.

**_Alexander  
_** _I just saw ur friend Tom leave the new guy’s room_

**_Georg  
_** _Mkay?_

**_Alexander  
_** _He was like naked_  
_Okay not naked but he didn’t have his shirt on  
_ _And he looked like super guilty_

**_Georg  
_** _What???  
_ _U sure it was Tom?_

**_Alexander  
_** _Of course I’m sure  
_ _You think they did it?_

**_Georg  
_** _Of course not Tom’s not gay u idiot_

**_Alexander  
_** _U sure about that?_  
_I mean he came from another guy’s room half naked_  
_And the new guy’s definitely gay straight guys don’t look like that  
_ _I’m pretty sure they did it and ur pal’s straight as a slinky_

Tom let out a short laugh. He gave the phone back to Georg with a sigh. “I guess I’m gonna be the _gay guy_ from now on?”

“Oh, c’mon,” Georg saig with an amused snort, “it’s not that bad and people will forget about it in a week or two. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with being gay.”

“I know that,” Tom rolled his eyes and took another piece of his pizza. “It’s just, I’m _not_ gay, and now everybody thinks I am, and I’ll never get a girlfriend cause they all just want me to be their _gay friend.”_

“Stop whining for god’s sake,” Georg laughed. “Girls will let you touch their boobs now so who cares if they’ll think you as the gay friend?”

“Stop acting like this is a good thing!” Tom tried to give Georg an angry look, but ended up laughing instead.

“Okay, seriously now,” Georg laughed, and they both had to cover their mouths to quiet down. After a short staring contest Georg spoke up again: “When’s the wedding?”

“Shut up!” Tom laughed and grabbed an old, dirty shirt from the floor and threw it at his friend.

“Seriously, Tom! I wanna be the best man! Gustav can be, too, since you’re gonna need two.”

“Stop it now or I’ll make you gay too!”

“How? You gonna sprinkle some glitter on me? Is that what Bill did?”

“ _Shut up_ Bill did nothing, I just slept on his bed-”

“Oh, so you shared a bed? Can’t get gayer than that.” They were both laughing so hard they hardly managed to breathe. “Are we sharing a bed too,  since I’m sitting on yours?”

“Seriously, Georg, I’ll make people think you’re gay too if you don’t stop,” Tom laughed as he dried his cheeks from tears.

“Which one of you is gonna wear the dress? I’m not sure it’ll look too good on you,” Georg just kept laughing, enjoying his own stupid jokes far too much.

“Oh, _Georg,”_ Tom let out a loud moan with a smirk on his face.

Georg froze in his place and stared at Tom in disbelief. “What are you doing?”

“Oh _yes, Georg,”_ The smirk never left Tom’s lips as he kept moaning, enjoying the way he saw the emerging panic from Georg’s face.

“Stop, Tom, people are gonna hear.”

“Oh, Georg _, oh yeah_ ,” Tom jumped up from the floor as Georg got up from the bed. “ _God yes!”_ his last words turned into high pitched cries as he ran across the room when Georg decided to attack him to shut him up. “Georg! _Georg!”_

Tom had nowhere to run anymore, and Georg managed to get his hands on Tom’s belly, which meant only the worst thing Tom could imagine; tickling.

Pretty quickly Tom sank down on the floor as Georg tickled him mercilessly, making him laugh and scream like a little girl as he tried to get away from the brown haired man.

Tom had never met anymore as ticklish as himself. He was bound to laugh as soon as somebody even poked his stomach, and it was a curse that made his life a living hell sometimes. Especially after the G’s had figured it out, cause for some reason they seemed to drastically enjoy seeing Tom squirm and laugh in panic. 

“Georg, oh, _Georg,”_ Tom kept moaning through his laughter, really hoping there was someone in the common areas to hear it so he wouldn’t have done it all for nothing.

And as they lied there on the floor, Tom moaning and screaming and laughing with a tickling Georg on top of him, he realized they probably looked like they were as straight as two slinkies wrapped around each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank for reading!


	7. Can we stop talking about Bill?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh MY GOD it's been SO LONG since I've last updated and I'm so sorry for it and I hope you all hadn't forgotten this even existed :D I had the one shot I had to finish before I could come back to this and I'm SO HAPPY to finally write this again!

On Monday morning Tom was so close to staying in bed so he wouldn’t have to face the world just yet, but he knew he needed to attend the history class if he didn’t want to get murdered by Bill; it was the day they had to present the assignment they had been working on.

For even to Tom’s own surprise, he had gotten something done. He had used Sunday’s boring evening hours to do his part of the assignment, and he was actually quite proud of himself for actually working and not just half-assing the whole thing. He didn’t know if it was good enough for the A Bill wanted to get so bad, but it was honestly the best he had managed to do and that was a lot from him since giving his best usually meant something like lying on his bed, thinking about the work that needed to be done.

When Tom arrived at the classroom, five minutes late, Bill threw him a look so mean Tom knew it would’ve killed him if it had been possible. The guy had probably thought Tom wouldn’t show up and they would get a shitty grade, a thought that Bill for some reason didn’t seem to handle at all. But he had arrived and even before they had to present their work, so what was the problem? Tom definitely didn’t feel like he deserved such a mean look. Maybe some angry eyebrows or something, but not the whole “if looks could kill” thing.

The minutes passed by slowly and Tom was almost anxious to get to show off his work. He hadn’t even thought it would be like that. Did this mean he was proud of his work and therefore wanted everybody to see it already? Or was he just anxious to get it done with so he could go and get himself something to eat? He wasn’t sure, but the first option seemed a bit scary to him; he had never felt like that before and he certainly hadn’t thought he ever would.

Finally, when it was time to present their work, the whole class kinda gasped in surprise when Tom showed them his part. Bill seemed like he was about to burst into tears from happiness and their teacher looked like a proud mom; she even gave Tom a little pat on the back after they were done.

“Oh my god!” Bill almost screamed when they left the classroom after the period was over. “I’m so proud! Oh my god, that was so good, Tom!”

Tom could feel his cheeks burning a bit and he awkwardly rubbed his neck, staring at the end of his shoes. “To be honest, I’m quite proud of myself,” he soon smirked and raised his eyes to Bill.

“You should be! You did amazing!” Bill clapped his hands in excitement so fast Tom was sure it wasn’t humanly possible. “Oh! We should celebrate this!”

“I don’t know, it’s not that-”

“But it is!” Bill grabbed Tom by his shoulders and looked him in the eyes, his voice suddenly much more serious. “We're gonna celebrate your first A ever!” Somewhere in the middle of the sentence Bill’s voice turned into the happy screaming again, and Tom couldn’t help but smile. How could he say no to a guy filled with such excitement?

“When?” Tom finally asked with an eye-roll, earning a wide smile from the raven-haired boy.

“Well, we could do it today, but I have to work tomorrow so it’s gonna be a long day and I don’t need a hangover to make it even longer,” Bill had grabbed Tom by the left wrist and was now dragging Tom with him towards the cafeteria as he spoke.

“And I’m kinda broke, so maybe wait until I get some money?” Tom followed Bill like a puppy on a leash, still not fully understanding why they needed to celebrate him getting a good grade for once. “I don’t get money until Friday,” he added before Bill had the time to ask about it.

“Well, Saturday then?” Bill suggested with a smile. “I have to work on Friday, so I won’t be back until like midnight, so Saturday would be-”

“Bill wait,” Tom cut the raven-haired boy off, “I’m going to my parent’s on Friday and I don’t know if dad can drive me back before Sunday.”

The happy, excited smile slowly faded from Bill’s lips and his whole body kinda shrank. He let out a defeated sigh, and Tom was barely able to hear the silent, unhappy “oh”.

“But we can celebrate next week,” Tom tried to cheer his friend up with an encouraging smile. But Bill’s head hung low and the teen still seemed like his world had ended. Tom rolled his eyes in amusement and stopped, forcing Bill to stop too, since he was still holding on to Tom’s wrist.

“C’mon, Bill,” Tom smiled and pulled the guy a bit closer to himself so he could hear him better in the crowded hallway. “We’ll buy some wine, eat some pizza and listen to some, well, whatever music you listen to.”

“Can we watch a movie?” Bill’s voice was nothing but a whisper.

“Another chick flick?”

Bill gave Tom a slow nod, and Tom couldn't but roll his eyes again. “Maybe I’ll get through it if I’m really drunk,” he smirked, feeling rather proud when he noticed the small smile creeping onto Bill’s lips.

“But we’re gonna have to wait until Friday next week cause I’m working from Monday to Thursday,” Bill sounded like having to wait was the saddest news he’d ever heard.

“How are you not dead from the amount of work you have to do?” Tom laughed and gave Bill a little nudge, managing to make the boy laugh too.

“I seriously don’t know,” the raven-haired teen smirked. “But I do know that I didn’t have anything for breakfast so I’m starving and really need something to eat, so can we go?”

Tom had totally forgotten the fact they were headed to the cafeteria and his next period was about to start pretty soon. “Sure,” he smiled with a nod, allowing Bill to grab his wrist again and walk him to the cafeteria.

The room was pretty empty already when they arrived. Only the ones with a free period or the ones too tired to go to their classes were hanging out around the tables, alone or with their friends, most of them eating something while studying.

Tom couldn’t help noticing a few pair of eyes on them as they made their way through the room to get themselves something to eat. It made him kind of uncomfortable, but he tried not to care about it too much; he liked Bill, so why would he care if someone mistook them for a couple or something? It wasn’t the end of the world if someone thought he was gay.

Except, for some reason, it was to him. It felt utterly and completely awful to think that someone thought he was gay. Cause he wasn’t. The fact that he liked Bill and liked to spend time with him meant nothing. Besides, nobody knew if Bill was even gay himself. He just kinda looked like it with the long hair and the makeup. And the nails. And all the women’s clothes. Who was he kidding, Bill was probably gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John.

But it wasn’t supposed to be the end of the world and Tom knew it. He knew it and he hated himself for caring about it so much. 

“Oh my god they have nothing!” Bill desperate cry shook Tom out of his conflicted thoughts and forced him to focus his eyes on the boy.

“What do you mean they have nothing? There’s like a million options,” Tom furrowed in confusion as he looked at all the things you could buy to make your hunger go away.

“How do they never have anything I could eat?” Bill’s hands were in his hair and had grabbed a bunch of the black curls in his fist. “Tom, please, say you have noodles or something in your room,” the teen turned to look at Tom with his huge brown eyes full of desperation.

“Uh, I guess,” Tom shrugged. He had no idea, he didn't remember. “I guess there’s a couple of packs left.”

“Could you please give me one? I can pay for it if you want. I’m just really damn hungry and there's literally nothing for me here, and I’m too lazy to go to a store right now.”

“Of course I’ll give you one,” Tom hurried to say when Bill finally gave him a short silence as he stopped talking so he could breathe. “It’s just noodles,” Tom laughed when Bill gave him a surprised look, “if you’re hungry just go grab a pack.”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously! I guess they’re somewhere in the bags next to my bed, if there are any,” as he spoke, Tom dug his keys from his pocket and offered them to Bill. “My door’s locked so you’ll need this cause I really can’t miss my next class.”

“Thank you, Tom!” Bill looked like he was about to cry when he took the keys.

“It’s okay, I mean they’re-” the braided teen was cut off by Bill suddenly pulling him into a hug, “- just noodles.”

“But I’m really fucking hungry,” Bill laughed quietly before letting Tom go and running away, leaving Tom standing there feeling a bit confused.

After a short moment of just standing and staring at nothing, Tom finally snapped back to reality, realizing people were staring at him pretty openly.

“There’s nothing to see here,” he mumbled to himself, “the gay one already left.”

On the next period, Tom found himself sitting next to Georg at English class, resting his head on their desk and wishing he would’ve remembered to actually buy himself something to eat instead of just leaving the cafeteria with nothing right after he had realized people were staring at him.

Georg was doing an amazing job pretending to be listening to their teacher when in reality, he was listening to Tom's quiet cries about the earlier scene at the cafeteria.

"Everybody was staring at me!"

“Well, surely not everybody”, Georg laughed as he doodled something on his notebook to look like he was taking notes.

“They think I’m gay, Georg!” Tom whined, receiving an amused eye-roll from his friend. “They were staring at me because I’m the gay guy!”

“They were staring at you because you probably looked like a big fucking idiot.”

Tom let out a short, nervous laugh. “And what am I gonna do with the fact that he wants to celebrate?” he soon asked with a tired voice. “I mean who even celebrates good grades? It’s not like it’s something spectacular for him to get an A. Sure it’s the first one for me, but who cares? I mean if it’s only one good grade, then why-”

“Oh my god, Tom, stop whining!” Georg gave him a slap on the back of his head. “You’re like a fucking teenage girl. If you wanna party with him, party with him. And if you don’t, then tell him you don’t feel like it.”

“But-”

“No buts! Now take some fucking notes so you’ll maybe graduate one day.”

Tom let out a deep sigh and raised his head from the cold table, opened up his notebook and started taking notes. Except his idea of taking notes was more of staring at the teacher, thinking about how to cope with his incredibly stupid fear of being mistaken for a gay guy.

“I’m being stupid aren’t I?”

“More than ever,” Georg gave him a meaningful look. “Now can we stop talking about Bill?”

“We weren't talking about him, we were talking about me,” Tom furrowed. He hadn’t talked about Bill. Or maybe for a moment, but it had just been for a moment and it had been a pretty important thing to talk about.

“Oh my god you’ve been talking about him for the past 45 minutes, get a hold of yourself,” Georg slapped the back of his head again. “I don’t care if he’s gay or if you're gay, I really don't care and Bill isn’t a person I want to talk about constantly.”

“I’m not gay.”

“You know what,” Georg seemed and sounded like he could throw a few punches at Tom soon, “I’m just not gonna talk to you until you get over this little obsession of yours.” After that Georg turned back to his notes, clearly meaning what he had said.

It made Tom feel like a little, lost puppy again. Who was he gonna talk to if not Georg? Gustav was the worst listener ever and Bill wasn’t exactly the person he could talk about this exact topic. He was just gonna have to survive on his own, even though he wasn’t really sure what it was he had to survive. He only knew he really had to pull himself together and stop thinking about if people thought he was gay or not, cause it really didn't matter and nobody probably gave two shits about it.


	8. Thanks, mum

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh wow, look at me already back with another chapter :D  
> It's probably gonna take me a while to get the next one done since I'm taking a part in a Christmas fic exchange and I need to get that done in time, so it kinda goes before this. But I try not to take forever to continue this!

“So, how’s school?” Michael asked the second Tom got his foot into the car, and for a moment it made Tom question if he really wanted to go home this weekend. Sitting in the car for three hours with a man whose first question was how’s school didn’t seem so tempting. But on the other hand, afterward he’d get food and money, so maybe it was gonna be worth it.

“Uh, you know,” Tom shrugged as he closed the car door, trying to give his dad an assuring smile, “fine, as always.”

“We’ll be lucky if you graduate?” Michael laughed rather dryly after starting the car.

“Yup.”

“We’ll tell your mother you're doing great.”

Tom simply gave his dad a small nod. He was pretty sure his mum would figure out the truth within a minute just by looking at him, so he didn’t really get the point of lying to her. She never told she knew the truth, but Tom could always see the disappointment in her eyes. Not that she was ever disappointed in Tom’s grades, no she was just happy he even tried to get something done, but disappointed in the fact that he had lied about something and not trusted her with his stuff.

“You still friends with Georg?” Michael suddenly asked after a nice and peaceful thirty minutes of driving.

“Yup.”

“Well, you shouldn't.”

“What?” Tom turned to look at his dad in both surprise and disbelief. “Why? He’s the best friend I’ve had, like, ever.”

“He’s got bad influence on you, Tom,” Michael gave him a serious look, and all Tom was capable of doing was rolling his eyes dramatically. “Don’t roll your eyes at me, I’m serious! You’ve been drinking a lot more since you’ve met him, and I don’t like it. He’s turning you into an alcoholic!”

“Are you sure you know what that means?” Tom asked with a deep sigh, he really didn't have any interest in having this kind of conversation with his dad. “Cause I’m pretty sure that a college kid who drinks on the weekends to forget about school isn't an alcoholic, dad.”

“Stop being a smartass, you know what I meant.”

“Dad, you called me and my friend alcoholics,” Tom mumbled with a tired voice as he went through his pockets to find his headphones, “you’re being weird and annoying, and I’m not gonna talk to you until we’re home.”

Before Michael got a chance to say something back, Tom had already managed to turn his music so loud he was pretty sure his dad heard it too. It hurt his ears a bit but he didn't care, anything was better than listening to his dad’s nonsense.

The next hour or so went by slower than ever, and even Tom’s favorite tracks didn’t make it go faster like they normally did. From the corner of his eye, Tom could see his dad glancing at him every once in awhile, making him feel uneasy and a bit anxious. It wasn’t like his dad to be like that and he couldn't come up with anything to explain the sudden weirdness. Of course his dad had always been weird, but usually, it was funny weirdness and not this your friend’s making you an alcoholic kind of weirdness.

As the landscape rolled by, Tom’s eyelids became extremely heavy and he had to fight himself to not fall asleep. After the little scene with his dad, the idea of dozing off felt a little too uncomfortable even though he wasn’t even sure why. But maybe if he just rested his eyes for a little bit? Just for a little while.

The next time Tom opened his eyes was when he realized the car stopped and they were sitting in his parent’s driveway. It took him a moment to figure out that he had slept for the rest of the drive and now he was blinking rapidly to properly wake up so he could get up from the car.

“Tom!” Renate practically ran from the front door to open the car door and pull Tom out of the car into a tight hug.

“Hi mom,” Tom muffled into Renate’s shoulder as she pressed him against her so tightly he could barely breathe.

“Hi baby,” she smiled, and after a little while, she finally let Tom go from her embrace. “I missed you.”

“Missed you too, mom.”

“You need any help with your bags?”

“Thanks, but no,” Tom smiled with a headshake. “I only have one cause all my clothes were actually clean,” he gave his mother a smirk as he picked up his bag from the car.

“Well,” Renate laughed, “it’s nice to hear you finally figured out how to use the washing machine.”

“Yeah, well, I figured I should since it was kinda embarrassing to always ask for Georg to do it for me.”

“How does he put up with you, kid?” Renate smiled as he pulled Tom into another hug. “Dinner will be in an hour.”

“Thanks, mom,” Tom wrapped his hands around her, happy about the fact that he had survived the drive with his dad because this was definitely worth it.

After a short moment, Renate ran back inside as she remembered she left something on the stove, and Tom made his way to his old room. Well, technically it was still his room, but it sounded cooler to say it was his old room since he had moved out. All the stuff he hadn’t taken with him were still there, right where he had left them.

It was always weird for him to come back to his room after being away, but it was also nice. It always meant free food, sleeping late, and long showers without anyone asking how long until he was ready. It also meant having his mother ask him questions about his life and giving him sudden hugs, and he didn't really enjoy either of them, but it was alright.

Tom collapsed on his bed with a yawn. He wasn’t sure why he was still tired, but he wasn’t gonna let himself doze off this time, cause if he did he probably wouldn't wake up until next morning. Which sounded really nice to him, but Renate was preparing food for him so it wouldn’t be very nice to just go to sleep without eating and spending time with her first.

So, instead of letting himself rest his eyes again, he dug out his laptop and opened up Facebook. It kept him busy for a good ten minutes, so he switched to Netflix and put on the 70’s show; a series that always managed to make him forget about time and laugh his ass off.

“Tom!” Renate’s voice traveled from the kitchen in the middle of a very intense moment of Jackie and Kelso fighting, and Tom paused the show with a groan.

“Five minutes!”

“ _ Now _ , Tom!”

Tom rolled his eyes with another groan, but put away his laptop and got up from the bed like the good boy he was.

The dinner was quiet and kind of uncomfortable since Tom didn't really dare to say anything because his father was also sitting at the table, and everything he wanted to tell his mother included Georg. And Michael, apparently, didn’t like Georg. At all.

“So, how’s school?” Renate repeated Michael’s earlier question, making Tom even more uncomfortable.

“Dad told me to lie about it, but you’ll be happy if I graduate,” Tom answered with a wide smile, earning a warning look from his father.

“Well,” Renate smiled, “you should've listened to your dad, even though I know you’re not doing as well as you could.”

Tom let out a nervous laughter, quickly stuffing his face with food so everyone would have to stay quiet for a while. His parents were now both acting strange and he didn't like it. He hadn't come home just to listen to them bitch about school and his friends.

“So, uh, we got an A on our history assignment,” he soon mumbled, hoping it would cheer up both of his parents and make the uncomfortable situation go away.

Renate’s eyes practically lit up and a proud smile made its way to her lips. “You got an A?” She asked with a surprised tone, and when Tom gave her a nod she looked like she could die from happiness. “That’s wonderful honey!”

“No no, he said they got an A,” Michael rushed to correct her. “Who’s we?”

“Me and Bill,” Tom furrowed, feeling a bit confused. What did that have to do with anything? It didn't matter in any way who he had done the assignment with.

“So, you got an A because of him?” Michael asked. “Because I know you, Tom, and you don’t get As.”

“What? No! I did half of the work.”

“You did?” Renate’s voice was dripping with surprise and pride, and Tom was pretty sure she was fighting tears.

“Yeah, I mean Bill kinda made it clear that if I wouldn’t do my half he’d strangle me with my braids, so I kinda had to do it,” Tom explained with a shrug and a smile. The truth was he hadn’t even remembered Bill’s threat when he had done his job. He had done it because he had been bored which now that he thought about it sounded pretty weird cause he never did his school work and definitely not out of boredom.

“Tell me more about Bill,” Renate put down her fork and leaned a bit closer to Tom, seemingly interested in the topic. “He seems like a great kid.”

“Yeah,” Tom almost sighed. “He’s great. He’s funny, he’s got good grades and he’s so damn beauti-” he paused as he realized what he was saying, and cleared his throat, “I mean, his dog is so damn beautiful.”

Renate stared at Tom with an unreadable look on her face which made Tom extremely uncomfortable. It also made him wish the earth would swallow him right there.

“Right,” she finally let out a short laugh after what felt like an eternity. “So you like him?”

“What? No!” Tom rushed to answer before 

“Then why are you friends?” Michael cocked an eyebrow at him.

“He’s nice-”

“But you said you didn’t like him.”

“Well I-” Tom’s chest began to feel tight and breathing was getting harder. Why were his parents like this? They were never like this; asking questions and commenting on his life. He didn’t like it, he didn’t like it at all.

“Tom, honey?” Tom slowly lifted his eyes to his mother and gave her a weak smile. “Are you feeling well? You look pale. Do you need to go lay down?”

“Yeah,” he heard himself say before he had the time to even properly think about it. “Yeah, I think I do.”

It felt like Tom was moving slow motion when he got up and made his way back to his room. It wasn’t until he had closed the door behind him that he felt like he could breathe again. He had no idea why he was being like this. His parents hadn’t even said anything which could’ve caused this, so he didn’t understand himself at all, and he didn’t even want to think about how confused his parents were because of his behavior.

With a tired sigh, Tom collapsed on his bed and opened up his laptop again, unpausing the series he had been watching before, thinking it would help him relax and forget about the stressful thoughts his head was full of.

But no, he couldn’t concentrate on the show at all, and he could literally feel how his head was getting so full of anxious thoughts he was afraid it was gonna explode.

“Fuck,” he soon groaned as he slammed his laptop shut. “ _ Fucking hell. _ ”

“Don’t cuss, Tom,” Renate’s voice came through the door, and shortly after she knocked a few times. “Can I come in?”

“Sure.”

The door slowly opened, Renate stepped into the room and let out a quiet laugh before closing it again. “You okay honey?”

“Yes,” Tom mumbled and covered his face with his hands. After a short while, he sighed deeply. “No.”

“What’s wrong honey?” Renate sat on the edge of the bed.

Tom sighed again, rubbed his face and sat up feeling extremely annoyed with himself. Did he really have to talk about it with his mum? “Nothing,” he muttered, but Renate gave him a questioning look with a cocked brow. “Bill’s gay,” he soon cried, collapsing on his back again.

Renate’s eyebrows raised so high they disappeared under her brown bangs. “Does that bother you?” She slowly asked.

“No, of course not!”

“Then you don’t have a problem,” Renate laughed and patted Tom’s leg.

“But everyone thinks I’m gay because I’m friends with him.”

“Well, are you gay?”

“No!”

“Then you don’t have a problem.”

After patting Tom’s leg again and wishing him a good night Renate got up from the bed and left the room, leaving Tom to stare at the ceiling in something between despair and relief.

“That didn’t really help, but thanks, mum,” Tom mumbled to himself as he buried his face in his pillow. Even though he knew he was simply being stupid, he still felt like he had a problem and he just wanted to punch himself for that.

But his mother was right. He didn’t have a problem cause he wasn’t gay, and even if he was, it still wouldn’t be a problem. But she hadn’t said anything about that. She had just said..

“Mum!” Tom called as he jumped up from the bed. After a short moment, Renate appeared at the door again. “What did you mean by then you don't have a problem?”

“What?” She looked at him with an incredibly confused look on her face.

“Would you have a problem if I was gay?” Tom asked, crossing his arms as he spoke.

“What are you- no,” Renate looked even more confused if possible. “Are you high or something? This isn’t like you, Tom.”

“I’m not high, I just- I don't even know,” Tom let out a tired sigh. “I just really like hanging out with Bill, and I’m afraid he’ll get a wrong picture about it and I don’t wanna hurt him.”

“Tom, honey,” Renate smiled and placed her hand on Tom’s shoulder. “Not all gay guys are gonna be into you, no matter how handsome you are” she gave him a teasing grin. “But if Bill does have a crush on you, you’ll tell him you’re not interested and that’s that. His world won’t end.”

“It won’t?” Tom asked, acting like he was surprised, earning a gentle punch on his arm. “I know mum, it’s just, I don’t know. For some reason, I’m just really worried people will think I’m gay.”

“Well stop worrying, cause nobody really cares about your sexuality,” Renate smiled. “Except for Bill if he happens to have a crush on you.”

“Mum!”

“I’m sorry honey, this whole thing is just funny to me,” she laughed as she pulled Tom into a hug. “Now, go to sleep honey, I think you need it.”

“Thanks, mum.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	9. You want a hug?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow and phew, I thought I'd never get this chapter ready.. I still think it could be a lot better, but I've rewritten it a thousand times so, yeah, this is as good as it's gonna get. Hope you like it!
> 
> Oh, and also, I made a twitter account, Moppipoika_FF, which I'm gonna use to tell about updates and to talk about writing and the fandoms and everything, so yeah, go and follow if you feel like it!

The weekend away from school turned out to be just what Tom had needed. He got to sleep as late as he wanted, and Renate kept making him food like the world was coming to an end. Even if he had wanted to do something, he wouldn't have been able to, cause he felt like he was gonna explode from overeating. And he felt like it all the time. Even when it was time to pack his bags so he could head back to school, Renate made him sit in the kitchen and eat while she handled the packing.

“You have to come by more often, honey,” Renate said quietly, looking like she was about to cry, so Tom hurried to wrap his arms around her. “I can’t believe my baby’s not living with us anymore.”

“Mum.” Tom sighed with an eye-roll. “I moved away like a thousand years ago, and you’re still not used to it?”

“I’ll never get used to it, baby. I’ll be living in a home, rolling around in my wheelchair, still crying about how you moved away and left me alone in the cold cruel world.”

At that, Tom couldn’t but laugh. Of course, he knew she’d probably never actually get used to him living away from home, and now that he didn’t really have time to visit because of the school work he was supposed to be doing, it was probably even harder for her. But the picture she had just painted in his mind was nothing but hilarious; it was just what he’d imagine her to be like when she’d get old.

“I’m sorry mum,” Tom mumbled with a smile. “You know, for moving away to get a degree and to start my own life. I should’ve forgotten  all that and just stayed home with you.”

“Damn right you should’ve!” Renate laughed, and Tom tightened his arms around her. He really did miss her a lot, but for some reason, it always felt so damn hard to leave the school for a weekend. It wasn’t really about him having to do school work, it was the traveling between two places, it was always so tiring and he simply hated the three hours he just had to sit and was able to do nothing at all; he absolutely hated it.

“Time to go, Tom,” Michael shouted from the car outside, forcing Tom to let go of his mother.

“I packed you some food, so remember to unpack it,” Renate said with a sad smile, “so it won’t mold, okay?”

“Mum.” Tom crossed his arms. “ _ Some _ food?”

Renate rolled her eyes with an amused laugh. “Okay,  _ a lot _ of food, but you said you’re only eating noodles!” she defended herself. “I can’t let my baby live on nothing but noodles.”

“Tom! Now!” Michael shouted again, this time a little angrier. He hated to be late and he hated people who were always late, not that they even had anything to be late from, but Tom was always late no matter what. Having to drive Tom back to school wasn’t exactly the ideal way of spending his Sunday evening.

“Go,” Renate said with a smile, “dad’s gonna freak out if you don’t.”

After one last hug, Tom ran outside so he could leave with his pissed off dad. He didn’t want to leave cause he had actually had a great time with his mother, but for some reason, Michael had been a complete ass for the whole weekend, and that, on the other hand, made him wanna leave and never come back again. Of course, he would come back, he knew he always would, but his dad’s uncomfortable weirdness definitely made him want to stay away for a good while before even considering a new visit.

The ride back to school felt even longer than it had on Friday. The whole time Tom felt an uncomfortable pressure on his chest like someone had sat on it, making it kinda hard to breathe. His dad kept changing the radio station every fifteen minutes, even more frequently he let out a deep, tired sigh and threw Tom a quick glance, probably thinking Tom didn’t notice it. His driving style was more aggressive than usual, even though he cursed a lot less than what Tom had gotten used to. But it didn’t feel good, though. His dad was supposed to curse while driving, he was supposed to yell at other drivers and cuss at them. All the passive-aggressive sighing and eye-rolling just made Tom uneasy.

And no matter how much Tom thought about it, no matter what angle he looked at it from, he couldn’t come up with a reason why his dad was acting like he was. He hadn’t done or said anything, neither had Renate, and if something was wrong with Michael’s parents or work Renate would’ve told Tom. At least he thought she would’ve.

For his salvation, Tom had fallen asleep at some point and was woken up by his dad at the school’s parking lot. Michael helped him to carry his stuff to his room, and then he was gone with just a wave of a hand. It didn’t really bother Tom, he was simply happy to be away from him at last. He would definitely have to give his mother a call the next day to ask her about it. He would’ve done it right away, but he had no idea what time it was; it was already dark so he figured it was already too late to call her. And, he was way too tired to talk to anyone. He just wanted to get a good night’s sleep.

The next morning he was still feeling so tired even opening up his eyes felt like a workout, so he simply decided to skip class. It didn’t really go as he had planned, though, cause a good 45 minutes after Tom had turned off his alarm and gone back to sleep, someone had knocked on his door. And the someone had, of course, been Bill. With an annoyed sigh, Tom had put on a shirt and the first pair of jeans he had gotten his hands on, and dragged himself to the kitchen cause Bill hadn’t shut his mouth about what a coincidence it had been that they had both decided to skip class.

Now Tom had a teacup on his hands, he had gotten rid of his way too uncomfortable jeans, and was sitting on Bill’s bed, buried under a thick blanket. He had just finished his story about his dad’s weird behavior. Well, he hadn’t actually told it like a what happened during the weekend story, but more like a let me bitch about my dad for the next twenty minutes story.

Bill was sitting on the other side of the bed, also holding a teacup, going on and on about how rude Michael had been and how he hated that kind of people. Tom had a hard time concentrating on Bill’s voice when all he could do was stare at the boy and his changed appearance. 

Bill’s hair was tied up on a ponytail, and Tom realized the boy’s hair wasn’t actually naturally straight; the ends of the dark locks were curving on little spirals, making it hard to believe Bill could actually get it as straight as he did every day. Bill also didn’t have any makeup on. At least Tom thought so, but he wasn’t an expert. He knew girls sometimes managed to look natural even with tons of makeup on, so why wouldn’t Bill? It was amazing, really, how Bill looked like a completely different person now. Tom had a hard time wrapping his mind around the fact that this was actually the same guy as before.

“No offense, but your dad seems like the biggest bag of dicks,” Bill huffed before furiously sipping his tea. “I mean, he had no reason to act like that and now you’re all upset about it, he’s such an ass.”

“Nah.” Tom shrugged. “I mean yeah, he was an ass cause I don’t remember doing anything, but you know,” he paused for a moment to take a sip from his tea, “usually he’s nice.”

“Usually isn’t enough, Tom.” Bill looked at him with furrowed brows, and Tom regretted even telling him anything. He seemed to take it a little too seriously. Tom had just wanted to whine a little to get his frustration out, and now Bill thought his dad was the worst dad one could imagine.

“I mean, at first, it’s usually nice.” Bill put his cup on a chair he had brought next to the bed to use it as a table. “Then it’s sometimes nice, and then it goes down to rarely nice.” At this point, Bill’s eyes had turned red and glossy, and Tom was afraid the boy was gonna cry. Not that there was anything wrong with it, he just wasn’t the best at dealing with crying people. “Then he’s never nice and he’s always drunk, acting more horrible day by day, up until the point he decides to get his things and leave,” the last words turned into whispers, and Bill burst into tears before he managed to finish his sentence.

Tom felt his heart clench as he realized what Bill was talking about. He surely had no idea what to do; he had never been too good at comforting others, and this seemed to be so personal all Tom wanted to do was jump out of the window and die, just to get away from having to deal with the sobbing boy at the other end of the bed.

But leaving wasn’t an option, and dying obviously wasn’t either, so Tom took a few deep breaths and gathered his strength, praying that he could even be a little help and not make the situation worse. “Bill?” he asked quietly after putting his cup away, but he didn’t get an answer. Not that he had actually even expected to get one. “Are you.. Okay?”

“What are you, stupid?” Bill cried and threw an angry glare at Tom before he buried his face in his pillow.

Tom let out a nervous laughter. “I guess I am, yeah,” he mumbled. He stared at the crying teen feeling desperate. He wanted to call his mum; she always knew what to do no matter what. “I- Do you want me to go?” he soon asked carefully.

Soon Bill shook his head slowly, and Tom had to stop himself from sighing. Slowly he got up from where he sat, crawled to Bill and sat next to the boy. “I guess you’re talking from experience?” Tom spoke softly, trying to carefully choose his words so he wouldn’t upset the boy even more.

He got a slow nod from Bill, and his heart clenched again. “You, uh.. You want a hug?” Tom asked as he moved a little closer to Bill in case he did want one, and spread his arms to assure the boy he really meant it. In no time Bill leaned against him, letting him wrap his arms around the dark-haired teen.

Bill’s quiet sobbing slowly turned to loud crying. He abandoned the pillow and turned to bury his face in Tom’s chest, wrapping his arms around his neck. Tom worked as hard as he could on not tearing up himself. It felt like his soul hurt because of Bill, because of all the pain the boy clearly had had in him for a long time. 

Tom didn’t know if Bill had meant to reveal something so huge to him, or if it was a mistake he already regretted, but now he knew and he had no idea if it was gonna change things between them. He knew it shouldn’t, but he didn’t know if he could just act like nothing had ever happened after this. He felt so responsible; he was the one who had brought up the topic in the first place.

“I’m sorry, Bill,” Tom whispered and hugged Bill a little tighter. “I’m so sorry.”


	10. Anyone with daddy issues is bound to be an easy lay

“So, what you’re saying is he cried to you about… his daddy issues?” Georg asked slowly, his brows in a confused furrow. Tom had explained to him what had happened earlier with Bill, and the brown-haired guy seemed to have some kind of a problem understanding his story. “I mean, he literally cried?”

“Yes!” Tom sighed feeling awfully annoyed. “He literally cried, and I sat there for like an hour just hugging him and telling him I’m sorry. And I don’t even know what I’m sorry for!” He paused for a moment, rubbing his temples as if it would help him get his thoughts in order. “I mean I know what I did, I brought the whole my dad sucks ass -topic up in the first place, but how was I supposed to know about his dad abandoning him or something? I didn’t mean it and he cried so much I swear he won’t be able to shed a tear for like weeks because of it, and I’m- “

“Okay! I get it!” Georg almost yelled, managing to shut Tom up. “Okay,” he said again, this time much calmer, “it’s not your fault.”

“But I- “

“You didn’t know,” Georg hurried to cut Tom off again before he could even start his sentence. “And you stayed there to comfort him. That’s good, right? Seriously, Tom, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Tom gave his friend a small shrug before collapsing to lie on his bed. He really didn’t know. He didn’t know if Bill was mad at him, or Bill blamed him like he blamed himself, or if something was going to feel different the next time they’d meet. He hoped not, ‘cause he liked Bill’s company a lot, and losing friends over small, stupid things was always awful.

Letting out a deep sigh, Tom rolled over to his side, staring at his friend sitting on the floor. He was glad he had Georg.

No matter how stupid Georg was sometimes, or how idiotic his ideas were, he had always been better at things like this than Tom, and had always offered his help and bits of advice without even properly asking. It didn’t even have to be about relationships or things like… well, things like Bill. Georg had helped him so much with school work and money, and whenever Tom was feeling down for some stupid reason, Georg always came up with something to cheer him up with. It was like they had known each other for ages, and Tom was grateful for everything Georg did for him even though he never said it out loud.

“You know,” Georg mumbled suddenly, lowering the phone in his hand to raise his eyes to Tom. “Anyone with daddy issues is bound to be an easy lay.”

Tom grabbed the pillow under his head and threw it at Georg, managing to hit his face with it. “Last time I checked, I was into girls,” he said before rolling back on his back.

“Maybe you should check again,” Georg laughed, and Tom could hear the grin on his face. “People change, right? And I really mean it, daddy issues make anyone a super easy lay, and he’s practically already throwing himself at you!”

“Yeah, well, keep dreaming,” Tom said with a dramatic eye-roll Georg probably couldn’t even see. Georg definitely knew how to push his buttons. “As soon as you manage to find a girl with daddy issues, give me a call.”

Georg let out an amused sigh as he got up from the floor. “I just think it’s good you stayed with him, even though I know you suck at comforting people,” he said with a smile on his face. “Just, don’t worry about him being mad because I can guarantee he’s not mad at you.”

“You sure?” Tom asked and looked up at his friend.

“I’m sure.”

* * *

The next day Tom still wasn’t convinced about Bill not being mad at him. They had had history together, and Bill hadn’t even once glanced at him. After class Tom had tried to call for Bill, but the guy had managed to disappear into thin air before Tom had even gotten up from his seat.

At lunch, he had to sit alone, which happened like once every hundred years, and his head was filled with thoughts he didn’t even know his mind could develop. He wasn’t an insecure person, and he had never really had any hatred towards himself, but right there and then all he could think about was what was wrong with him. Had he said something inappropriate? Had he hurt Bill in some way? Why had he brought up his dad at all? He should’ve just shut his mouth and let it go, but no, he had had to start whining about his small, stupid problems without thinking that some people might have it worse than him.

Annoyed in himself, Tom buried his face in his hands. He was sure he was never gonna be able to fix this. Bill being abandoned by his father wasn’t a little thing or something to be overlooked with a shrug. It probably wasn’t even something the guy had wanted to talk about to Tom at all, and Tom had forced it out of him. He had forced the poor guy to go over the awful memories and all the unbearable feelings, just because his own dad had acted a little weird.

“Tom?” a soft female voice made Tom lower his hands with a grunt. When he saw the petite, brown-haired girl standing in front of him, he was sure his heart stopped for a second. It was Annie, his old… well, calling her an old friend with benefits was an understatement. She was the last person he had expected to see.

“Is everything okay?” she asked with her blue eyes full of worry.

Tom stared at her in confusion, his brows in a furrow. “Uh, yeah?” he slowly answered, not really sure what she expected for him to say.

“You sure don’t look like it,” Annie laughed, then nodded towards the seat opposite to Tom’s: “Can I sit?”

Tom gave her a shrug. He didn’t understand why she was so interested all of a sudden, after not speaking at all for three months. Their fling had ended when she had unexpectedly informed she wanted a relationship where she could be sure they had a future and the same dreams or whatever. Despite her being the nicest, sweetest girl Tom had ever met, he hadn’t been even slightly interested. He still wasn’t, so he really hoped that wasn’t the reason she came to talk to him now.

“Seriously, how are you?” Annie asked with a soft smile while picking her food with the fork.

Tom eyed her for a moment. He couldn’t help but feel there was something she wanted from him; there was no way she just decided to randomly forget her feelings and start talking to him like nothing had happened. “A little tired, that’s all,” he finally answered with a shrug.

“Well if I remember correctly, you were always tired,” Annie laughed after swallowing down a mouthful of food, “even after you had slept through the entire weekend.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Tom nodded with a quiet chuckle. They had probably slept for ten hours in total for the whole week, and when they had gone to sleep at Friday night, Tom just hadn’t had the energy to open his eyes for the next two days. “Wait, I didn’t eat all weekend?”

“Not a bite,” Annie shook her head, “and I had to walk you to the bathroom, so you wouldn’t wet the freaking bed.” Tom felt his cheeks burning, and he lowered his eyes to his lap. He hadn’t even known about that, Annie had never told him. “It was okay though,” she said quickly, a soft smile on her lips. “I finally had the time to actually study while you were unconscious.”

“We didn’t really study that much, did we?”

“No, not really.”

Whatever the reason was Annie had decided to talk to Tom again, he didn’t care anymore. He had been sad about not having company at lunch, and now he had. It was good company, even, and worrying about why she wanted to hang out with him would’ve only ruined a perfectly good moment. Of course, it was a little weird, but it was better than sitting alone and feeling like utter shit.

They sat in silence, both eating, glancing at each other with small smiles on their lips. Tom wasn’t sure if it was awkward or not. It was definitely weird to just silently sit with her, but it wasn’t weird enough to make him uncomfortable. Still, he was glad when Gustav appeared from somewhere and walked up to them.

“Am I interrupting something?” he asked with his eyebrow raised.

“No, definitely not,” Annie answered with a smile on her lips before Tom even managed to open his mouth. She jumped up from her seat, took a small piece of paper from her pocket and handed it to Tom. “Here.” When Tom accepted it, her smile grew wider. “See you around.” With that, she turned around and left the boys.

Gustav took a seat next to Tom, trying to get a peek at what the paper in Tom’s hand was. “What is it?” he asked when Tom only sat there and stared at the paper in silence.

“Oh,” Tom quietly said and glanced at his friend, “it’s her phone number.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	11. Why would I be mad at you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god this took me way too long to write. But to be honest, I don't know when the next chapter will be up, but I promise I'll finish this damn thing!

Tom didn’t usually care about drinking in the middle of the week, but right now he was glad he had accepted Gustav’s invitation to come play poker and have a few beers with him and Georg. Tom’s anxiety had been building up the whole day like the pile of school work waiting to be done in his room, and having a few beers with friends was usually what helped him relax on that kind of days.

“So, you gonna give her a call?” Georg asked with a raised brow.

“Nope.” Tom checked his cards. “I fold. Don’t look so surprised,” he laughed shortly, “I mean, why would I even want to call her? We broke up and that’s that. There’s a reason it happened.”

“I’m surprised you decided to fold, not by the fact that you’re not gonna call her,” Georg said with a wide grin, throwing an opened condom pack on the middle of the table. They were always playing with random stuff as their bets since none of them really had enough extra money to play with. Well, Georg usually did, but it would’ve felt awkward to put money in the game when nobody else could.

“Yeah, well, I’m not gonna bet the last shit I have on me when I know I’m gonna lose,” Tom mumbled before taking a sip of his beer.

“That’s smart,” Gustav said with a raised brow, and gave Tom a long look before revealing his cards to Georg, “taking Annie’s number, or talking to her at all, wasn’t.”

“Oh, c’mon!  _ Again _ ?” Georg huffed with an annoyed look in his eyes as he realized he had just lost to Gustav for the third time in a row. “Tom’s a big boy already, and Annie’s number is gonna be worth gold when Tom finally feels like getting laid and he can’t find anyone else to do it with,” he said with a smirk so wide it went from ear to ear. He took the cards from the table and shuffled them.

Tom simply rolled his eyes at the guys, finished his beer and opened another one. He wasn’t sure why Annie had given him her number, or why she had talked to him in the first place, and he didn’t know if he wanted to find that out. He also wasn’t sure if he wanted to talk to her again, let alone  _ call  _ her. He had to admit Georg had a point with the whole getting laid -thing, but Gustav’s talk about Annie being a bad idea made a lot of sense and that’s what Tom had thought in the first place. But now, when he was a bit tipsy and in a great mood thanks to his friends, his mind was telling him it would be a great idea to sleep with her again. It was, after all, why he had hung out with her so much in the first place.

“Tom?” Georg tapped the table impatiently. “You still wanna play?”

Tom shook his head. “I guess I better not if I don’t wanna leave with empty pockets,” he laughed and pushed his chair further away from the table they were playing on.

* * *

Bill was sitting with a red-haired girl, talking so intensively his lips moved faster than Tom thought was possible, and Tom wasn’t sure if the guy was really talking that fast or if his brain just couldn’t keep up because of the beers he had drunk last night.

He felt like a shy little kid just sitting there and staring at the dark-haired guy, waiting for the girl to get up and leave so he could go and talk to Bill himself. He had prepped himself for it the whole morning, and it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal, but now that he had to go and do it, it felt like the hardest thing he had ever had to do in his life.

“Oh no, don’t leave yet,” Tom mumbled to himself when the girl Bill was talking to got up from her seat. He wasn’t nearly ready to go talk to Bill; he had no idea what to say or how to say it.

Bill was left alone, and Tom was still sitting on his chair like he was glued to it. He didn’t know how he could ever get up and go to Bill, let alone say something to the guy. He was still sure Bill was mad at him for bringing up his dad like he had, and not talking to him or seeing him had only made it worse; Tom was even more nervous than he had been before, and Bill had probably just gotten angrier while waiting for Tom to apologize.

Suddenly Bill turned his gaze to Tom, and his whole body tensed. Had the guy known he was sitting there and just hadn’t cared? Or did he realize now? Either way, Tom felt his cheeks burn with embarrassment. Now he  _ definitely _ needed to go over and say something, but now it was also harder than earlier. They stared at each other until Bill tilted his head a bit and furrowed his brows with a confused look, waking up a herd of butterflies in Tom’s stomach.

“Hi,” Tom awkwardly smiled after walking over to the raven-haired boy.

“Hi,” Bill smiled, his eyes locked on Tom’s. “Sit,” he said with laugh, “you look like an idiot just standing there.”

Tom let out a quiet laugh before taking a seat, knowing damn well he looked like an idiot. He  _ felt  _ like an idiot. His heart was pounding faster than it had when he had run five kilometers in elementary school after he had missed his bus. His mouth was drier than a desiccated lake. He needed to say what he had to say, get it out of him, quickly and without thinking so it would be over before he’d even realize it; like ripping off a band-aid.

“I’m sorry,” Bill said before Tom had the change to open his mouth.

Tom blinked in confusion, and it took him a moment to digest what he had just heard. “You…  _ you’re  _ sorry? For what?” he asked slowly, his brows in a puzzled furrow.

“Well, you know,” Bill lowered his gaze and started awkwardly picking his nails, “for making a scene. I didn’t mean to yell and cry like I did, and I’ve felt so  _ awful.” _

“Wait,” Tom said and raised his hand to silence Bill. “I thought you were mad at me.”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“For bringing up the whole my dad is a shitty dad -topic.” They stared at each other for a while, both equally confused by the situation. “So… you’re  _ not  _ mad at me?”

“Why… of course not. I mean I was a bit angry at you at first, but then it got out of hand and I wasn’t angry at you anymore I was just angry at- ” Bill cut himself off, letting out a tired sigh. “I’m sorry.”

A small smile made its way to Tom’s lips. “It’s okay,” he eventually said, meeting Bill’s brown eyes. “The whole day had been a mess anyway.”

“Yeah?” Bill laughed quietly, lowering his eyes again for a moment.

“Yeah.” Tom nodded with a small smile.

They sat there quietly, not really sure what to say or do now, except for avoidingeye contact to prevent themselves from feeling more awkward than they already did. Tom kept throwing glances at Bill, finding himself missing the simple ponytail and clean face he had seen a few days earlier. Not that there was anything wrong with the dark makeup around Bill’s almond eyes, it looked amazing on him, but he had looked so different.

“Are we still gonna celebrate the A we got?” Bill suddenly asked.

It took Tom a moment to realize what Bill was talking about. “Uh, yeah?” he answered with a frown. He had thought Bill had forgotten about it, or wouldn’t want to do so anymore, so it really took him by surprise when the guy asked about it. “I mean that’s what we planned, right?”

Bill’s eyes lit up, his smile reaching from ear to ear. “Yeah,” he nodded, “that’s what we planned.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
